Ready?
by Muffins Planned
Summary: Cameron leaves town for a year, holding a secret that would shatter her world if it got out. Hints of HCa. COMPLETE!
1. Prologue

**Title: Ready?**

Summary: Cameron leaves town for a year, holding a secret that would shatter her world if it got out. Hints of HC.  
Rating: T, language most, maybe some M-rated words  
Pairing: None really, hints of HouseCam, read and find out the rest, or else you'll spoil the story!  
Genre: Drama, Angst

_Prologue_

She wondered when time started to slow down, it all had gone so fast in the past, a year could feel like only 4 months, she could suddenly realise that her place in the world had changed without even noticing. But now, as she stared at the clock, the damn clock didn't tick faster, only taunting her, teasing her, almost ticking slower.

She tried to remember when all this started, had it been at one of those black-tie events? When Cuddy had her baby? Or was it before all that, like when that stupid bet started? But she didn't remember. All she did remember where those looks she caught him giving her, how quickly he looked away when she looked his way, how amased she was when he held Cuddy's baby, but that stupid bet, damned Chase and Foreman. All she had to do was kiss him, but she cursed herself then, she had gotten drunk to work up the corruage, and they ended up doing a whole lot more.

Tears welled up in her eyes.

She could only blame herself, it was her who kissed him, who wasn't sobber enough to know it was wrong to invite him in, who accepted that stupid bet, she did all this for some easy money. And she blamed herself for not being so crazy about him anymore, that would've made the case a lot better. It's not that she doesn't like him anymore, it was just all the fighting that made her loose intrest, an intrest she would've loved to have at this moment.

She stared at the clock once more, it echoed through the whole appartment, she regretted not putting the tv on, or call a friend over for support, for help.

When she first thought of it, she thought she was crazy, the second time she shook it off, the third time she found herself in the drugstore. Yes to whatever you're thinking if you're thinking right. She bought a pregnancy test, all because a stupid bet, for the stupid alcohol, and for needing a clean break.

10 seconds.

Now she hoped the clock would've gone slower, so that she could sit on the bathroom floor a bit longer, collecting herself, but realised that nothing was going to prepare her for this moment.

0 seconds.

She helped hersef off the floor, staring at the stick, took the deapest breathe she could, it hurt in her chest as she did so, but she let it out quickly. She closed her eyes as her hands found their way to the test, trembeling, somehow her hands found it, and picked it up.

After a few seconds she willed herself to open her eyes, and she did it slowly. But she still couldn't look at the test. Her eyes found her reflection in the mirror, she had red puffy eyes, her nose was red, too. She still had on her pyjamas, pink tanktop and a pair of grey loose pyjama boxers. _Coward _She closed her eyes, she could do this, and she looked at the test.

Two lines.

What did that mean again? She looked around the bathroom, where did she put that box? She panicked, and went to search the whole bathroom, after she didn't find it there, she went out of the bathroom, where the hell was it? Then she saw it, on the floor just outside the bathroom, she'd put it there so she would stop reading the same sentence over and over again. And she picked it up. _Two lines is... _She read the box, the whole so she would save time, but as she reached the part where it stood, her hands trembeled, and the box fell to the ground. She did too. Crying hard.

This was not what this stupid bet said, she would only kiss him! She punched the wall as she slid down it with her palm. She puched it over and over again, until the back of her arm was red from all the punching. Her was was scrunshed up, she was trying to muffle the sobbs.

This couldn't be right, it had to be wrong, all this was wrong, she wouldn't be the first to get the wrong results.

Yes, that was it, she wouldn't believe this untill it was confirmed by a doctor. _I'm a doctor _she cursed that voice in her head, but debated back that there were speacial test for this, she couldn't go on a hunch, or a stupid home prengancy test. No this needed a propper test.

She glanced at the clock. 8.30.

She was late for work, but she really didn't care today.

She picked up the phone and made an appointment with the doctor that took care of her the last time she was pregnant. Only that time she aborted the baby after a few months of thinking, but before that she had her as a doctor. She hated herself after that, but she was in med school, if she had the baby she would have to drop out, forget about her dream, and probably be disappointed at herself and the baby for taking that dream she had worked so hard for away. She never told anyone though about it. She didn't know who to tell, people would expect her to know who the father was, but she didn't. It was a stupid thing she did, she drank to much then too, and woke up in an apartment she didn't reconize with a note that told her that she needed to be gone when he got back.

She was surprised to hear from her after all these years, she did remember her, they got close during the time she was her doctor, and a while after, but at some point they lost touch, she blelieved it was about a year before she started to work for House. Though she couldn't be sure.

Her doctor said that she could come in the next day around twelve, they could do the test after having lunch. She agreed, it would be nice to get her mind of things.

After that she hurried to work, she would've done anything to get her mind of the possibility that she was pregnant.

When she got to work she resived the expected comments from House that she was late, she didn't roll her eyes, she only glared at him. This wasn't a good day. Foreman and Chase were worried for her when they caught her trowing up in a trashbin outside the hospital at lunch. She had told them to stick their nose elsewhere, that didn't help their concern, it only grew. She didn't blame them though.

But when House caught her running for the bathroom as second time in 3 hours, he sent her home, she protested loudly. But after a while she went home, but she called him sob, and other words not worth mentioning for their bad meaning. House was left shocked by her mini outburst.

When she got home she quickly spoted the box and pregnancy test in her bathroom as she walked in, but she didn't have to power to trow it away. She went to bed, and stayed there for the rest of the day, not even going up to eat dinner.

That night she couldn't sleep. She hated herself for that stupid bet, 200 dollars for this. It wasn't close to worth it.

The next day she called in sick for work, for some reason she knew she wouldn't be able to get back there after her appoinment, but she told herself it was because she could sleep after this scare, when she got the results that she wasn't.

The lunch was great, she laughed more then one time, and she forgot at more then one point that she was soon going to find out if her life was to change. But the lunch ended, too fast for Cameron's taste, and her doctor (Dr. Angela Peterson)and her drove to where her clinic was, it was a private clinic, their somewhat motto was that people got their privacy, and answers there, and that they could feel safe. Some celebrities went here. But it wasn't exensive though, it was almost like a free clinic, exept a few bucks more.

After doing the test she waited in the examroom. She again wished she brought someone else with her, to kill the time in the room, not staring at all the fetuses and photo's of baby's on the walls. She felt for the first time in her life claustrofobic. She thought about she rushing out of here, forgeting about the possibility of being pregnant, forgeting about this test. But she stayed, her legs didn't move.

She took deap breaths, willing her heart to beat slower, and she sat there, for what she though of as days, until Angela walked in again.

"Okay Allison" she smiled, and held up the shart she held in. "It looks like..." she looked down in the shart reading what it said. Cameron's mind screamed _not not not_, and Angela looked up with a smile on her face. "It looks like your pregnant" Cameron's breathe caught in her troath, and she nodded, smiled. "Now let's see how far along you are?" Cameron nodded, and laid back down, pulled her shurt up

A few moments later she looked at the screen, and tears welled up in her eyes. She didn't want this, she couldn't want this, but she knew she had to want this. She couldn't go through with an other abortion, that would be too much, it took years before she could look at a baby without starting to cry, but she never could think of a sick baby, that would always make her cry.

"It looks like you're... about 6 weeks along" Cameron nodded, she knew that of course, or kind of.

"Okay" she said in a whisper.

"So are you going to keep it?" Angela asked, and she looked at the screen.

"Yeah I think so"

"Think?"

"Well... this was kind of also a mistake" Cameron explained. "There was this bet that I wouldn't dare to kiss this guy I used to be crazy about, so I worked up the corruage with alcohol... stupid I know... and it ened up being more then just a kiss" Cameron took a deap breath. "But the worst part is the he's... my boss" She looked up to Angela who's eyes were about to pop.

"Wow.. you are in trouble"

"Yeah... and I'm not even crazy about him anymore.. well I'm crazy about him but not in that way, he's just anoying now... but he just kissed _so damned good_!" Cameon whined the last part, she cursed his lips and kisses. She cursed his existent right now too.

She didn't go home, she drove out of town, just drove until she saw the sign to a lake she remembered from when she was younger, or more like the last time she was pregnant, this was the place she decided she was doing the abortion. She turned in, as she killed the engine, she looked over the place.

She forgot how beautiful it looked. The sun was standing low, but not so low that the light was changing. It lit the whole lake up.

She steped out of the car, and walked up to the tree that stood beside the lake with a few meters. She sat down, leaned against the tree, and let her tears fall for the first time that day.

"Why me?" she asked to anyone who wanted to hear. "Why this again?" she huged her knees, and rocked herself, she didn't want this, this wasn't how she thought it would be, she didn't think she would do this alone. Sure there was a possibility that House would want to be in on this, but she just didn't see it. They had a one night stand, he didn't even like her, she didn't like him.

She sat there until the sun had been long gone, then she walked back to her car. But she didn't drive home, she didn't want to leave until she figured this one out.

Her hand made it's way to her stomach, where she rested it. That thing in her stomach was changing her life so much, and it wasn't even visible yet, it wasn't even thinking or breathing, yet it had such big impact on her life.

She knew she was going to have it, but after that? Give it up for adpotion for people who really wanted a baby? Keep it? Should she tell House? What should she tell House? How would he take it? Would he want her to do an abortion? There were so many question that needed answers, she had so many doubts.

At some point she fell asleep, and she woke up the next morning when her cell phone rang. The sun was all ready high on the sky.

_House?_

"Cameron" she answered with a raw and tired voice. She would not sleep in a car again.

"Have you been kidnapped?" was House's voice. "Cause if you haven't I don't see why you didn't call in sick today..." she rolled her eyes.

"I over slept" she explained, and leaned back and closed her eyes.

"Not good enough for an exuse" he said.

"Well sorry then cause that's the truth"

"You're not at your apartment"

"Wh-how do you know that?" she asked.

"Cause I'm standing in it" Cameron sat straight up.

"How did you get in?" she asked, he couldn't see the test, why hadn't she just trown it away like a sane person?

"I would love to brag about my breaking in skills, but I do remember where you put the spare key" House explained.

"And as you see I'm not there, please go out of my apartment" she said sternly

"Why? What are you hiding? Porn?" he asked, and she could hear him starting to walk around in the apartment. She closed her eyes and hoped that he wouldn't walk into the bathroom. "I was on my way out, but when you asked me so nicely I just had to stay and snoop." she could hear him smirk.

"House, get out of my apartment" she demanded.

"No, I want to know what you are hiding" he said. "Your living room is clear" he announced.

"Well yeah" she said. "Why would I hide something in the open, and why do you expect that I would put it where you could find it?"

"Cause you didn't expect me in your apartment today" he said. "Next: Kitchen, then bedroom and last but not least: bathroom" she closed her eyes again.

"House seriously, I will press charges if you continue this search"

"Do you think such desperate attempt of getting me out will do it?" she heard something in the backround. "Foreman, Chase look in the bedroom" she gasped.

"Why the hell are they there?"

"They were bored and asked why you didn't call this morning, they were sickingly worried about you, I was about to trow up if I didn't get this idea in my head." he said, and she heard something in the backround. "If you won't do it I will fire you, and it was your idea to check on Cameron" House yelled, and he heard Chase groan in the backround.

"Please House!" she said, and she then heard him start walking. "Please! I'm begging on my knees, get the hell out of my apartment!!" she yelled at him, and she was sure Foreman and Chase also could hear it, cause House's phone wasn't very low, anyone could hear a simple conversation from it.

"Bathroom up next" she took a really deap breath "Oh so it's here you're hiding your porn?" he said, and she heard the bathroom door creek open. She closed her eyes, and waited for him to respond. It was quiet, awfully quiet. And she knew he had found it. "Your pregnant?" he asked slowly over the phone, and she thought about it for a second.

"No" she said, and she didn't know why she said no.

"Oh, ok..." she heard say slowly. "Come on boy's wrap it up" he announced, and she heard the door close. "See you tomorrow Dr.Cameron" and the phone call ended.

"What did I just do?" she asked herself, holding a hand above her mouth. How could she hide a pregnancy? She had just told her boss, _the father of her baby, _that she wasn't pregnant, though she obviously was. She couldn't hide this! Her stomach would grow too big to hide, there would be no question about if he was th father. She cursed herself for her bluntness.

It was then she thought of it. She wouldn't keep this baby, she would put it up for adoption, she would call her parents and see if she could stay there during her pregnancy, she could make up an exuse that her father is sick and her mother needs help taking care of him. It would be partly true, but they had a nurse who took care of him, but this could save them money.

She called her parents the first thing she did when she got home, they agreed, but they didn't like the idea that she was hiding this from the father, but when they heard half of the story they agreed, never in a million years would she tell her parents the whole story.

When she got to work the next day she told Cuddy about her father and mother needing help, and that being the reason she didn't call or show up for work the day before. Cuddy bought the lie, and Cameron couldn't believe why so many people told her she couldn't lie, she was an expert on it. She told Cuddy that she needed to fly up straigh away, she had packed most of her things the night before, she really didn't need to many things, and she rented out her apartment for a year, that was how long she was going to be gone.

She had rented it quickly, cause she knew a friend who needed an apartment at the moment, and she was on her way to her parents. She didn't tell House herself, that would be Cuddy's job, she would be crazy if she didn't believe House wold find a flaw in her exuse. But she thanked that god she didn't believe in that her parents still lived in Chigago and didn't move to New Jersey to be close to her like they planned before her dad got sick.

------------------------------------------------------


	2. Chapter 1

_Chapter 1_

The once green graden had turned into a orange and yellow feild. It was the most beautiful place right now she could think of. She saw the swing she and her sisters used to fight over when she was little, it was now for grandchildren, or her sisters children: 4 kids, 2girls and two twin boys. Her sister got married two years after she did, she didn't really get an education, she was a stay-at-home-mom, a housewife.

Cameron knew her parents were proud of her for becoming a doctor, but they wanted her to get married and have kids like her sister who was a baby machine, her sister was her age and she had four kids, Cameron thought it was a little much for only being 32

Her sister had been so happy when she told her that she was pregnant, but when she told her that she was putting it up for adoption her sisters smile had turned to a sad one and said: you'll change your mind.

That was pretty much everyonce responce to the news, but she wasn't so sure about changing her mind.

"Ally, can you please help me here?" her sister yelled from the hallway where she was standing with her twin boys in both arms, and Maya and Andrea was running around in circles around her. Cameron walked up and took the two boys away from her, and walked into the livingroom, making faces so that Jimmy would stop crying, it helped. "How did you do that?" her sister asked as she walked into the livingroom, carrying her three year old Cassy in her arms.

"Dunno" she answered with a shrug.

"I don't get really why your putting this baby up for adoption" her sister said, and realesed Andrea from her grip, and she ran away to her sister.

"You don't get it" she explained, and handed Philip to her. "I wasn't happy when I found out... I cried" she fixed so that Jimmy was comfterable in her lap, the twins were only 7 months old at the point.

"I cried when I first found out I was pregnant with Maya" her sister explained.

"Danny, you were a hormonal wreck when you were pregnant with Maya, plus the fact that you had and still have Trevor." Cameron said matter of factly.

"Ally, I know you are scared, but I've seen you with children, I see you now" she gestured to Jimmy who was fast asleep in her hands. "I know you can do this"

"It's my boss' kid, I told him I wasn't pregnant, and then I come back and say: well I lied, you're a father?" she shook her head. "Plus the fact that my job is more then demanding" she added.

"All, I know you want this baby, why don't you just accept that?" Cameron looked away, and down at Jimmy in her arms.

" Cause I can't" she said, and handed Jimmy over to Danny and walked up the stairs to her old bedroom. She heard the screams from Jimmy down stairs, and she burried her head in her pillow.

She was now four months pregnant, she had been away from New Jersey three months, it hurt keeping all this a secret to them back home, she got calls from Chase sometimes, she knew he had sort of a crush on her. He told her about the cases, her temporary replacement that was just like House himself, how they were trying really hard not to bite each others heads off. And he asked if he could come and visit, if she could come, but she always had an exuse, after two months he stoped calling when she asked him to, she really needed to distant herself from him so she didn't tell him everything.

She rested her hands on her bump, it wasn't so big, but it was there. The baby hadn't moved yet, but that would change soon she knew.

She layed there for a while until her cellphone started to ring.

"Allison" she answered, after have been told countless of times that Cameron sounded too "worish" for being home, she answered Allison instead.

"Unformal... what has Chigago done to you?" she heard House's voice say. "You're probably tabledancing too now"

"Yep" she said, playing alone, she felt like she needed a smile right then.

"Seriously?" he asked in a mocking voice, trying to sound turned on, but she only laughed.

"No, I'm spending my days taking care of my father and taking care of my sisters kid's, don't got time for that, but if I did I probably would" she heard him chuckle.

"Taking care of the kid's? Are they jumping up and down sceaming for candy from you after you've been too generous in the past?"

"Haha... no it's-" she stoped when she felt something in her stomach, it moved. Her eyes grew wide, and her hand found it's way to her stomach, she gulped.

"Hello...??? You still there?" she heard House's voice again.

"Yeah... uh I got to go" she said and quickly snapped the phone shut. If she'd talked to him any longer she would've told him, everything.

She stared up into the ceiling, she didn't know what to do, she had tried to deny the baby, she had tried to block every thouht of the baby out of he mind, sometimes she succeeded, like when she was sitting out in the garden, remembering her sister and herself when they were 7 years old, playing back there. But now she couldn't do that anymore, soon the baby would move more often, she would feel it, maybe get second thoughts. She felt tears welling up in her eyes, and for the millionth time she asked what she had done wrong to deserve this, why she got pregnant with that bastards baby. She hated herself when she thought that she didn't want that baby to move, not now, not ever, and she cried harder, burrying herslef in her pillow.

She looked at her clock and saw that it was time to give her father his medicins, it was a routine, every fourth hour she would walk into her father bedroom to give him his medicin, at nights her mom would do it. She steped out of bed, walkíng slowly down the hallway, ignoring all the painfull yet happy photo's on the wall, keeping her eyes fixed on her parents bedroom furthest down the hallway.

Her father was wide awake, staring at her when she came in.

"Ally" he said with a smile. "Your glowing" he held his hand on her cheek, and kissed the other. "Why are you crying?" he asked, and she sat down and kised his forehead.

"Cause I'm a horrible person" she wiped away her tears. "It moved... the baby... and I cried because it moved" she shook her head.

"Your scared, it's okay?" he sat up and huged her.

"Why did it have to be him?" she asked and sobbed into his chest. "Why can't I be married like Danny? Have kids like Danny, be happy like her?" she asked.

"Hey... your childhood and teen was rougher then hers, you married a man who died, you got pregnant and you aborted the baby, now that is hard" he said, and she backed off, and as she did so he drew her hair from her face.

"How did you know that?" she asked in a whisper.

"I know everything about my daughters" he said, and she nodded. "Now lay down next to me"

"I got to give you your medicin" she said, and stood up, but he stoped her.

"No" he said with a whisper. "I don't want any of it" Cameron's eyes grew wide.

"You have to" she said. "You can die without it"

"I know" he said.

"Dad, you can't be serious"

"Serious as death" he smiled.

"No, you can't, you have to live"

"For what? Even with the medicin I'm probably not going to survive to see that baby of yours"

"Probably, yes, but there is a possibility you will" she said.

"The medicin makes me tired, I want to get out of this room" he said, waving his hands.

"Have you talked to mom about this?" he took a deap breathe and nodded. "What did she say?"

"That I should do what I wanted if I thought about it first" he shruged.

"Have you?" she asked.

"For two weeks" he said.

"I have to talk to mom about this first" she said. "So please just let me give you your medecin."

"Fine, one last time then" he smiled at her, and tears welled up in her eyes.

"I have to go down now, so sleep, rest do what you do..." she said, and looked at him. "Do you want anything from downstairs?" she asked.

"No... I'm just going to sleep" he said, and she nodded and walked out of the door and down stairs.

--

She sat at the dinner table with her sister while her mom was doing the dishes, nothing could change her mind about doing it, she was the woman of the house, she was supposed to do those things

"I talked to dad..." Cameron said, playing with the hem of her shirt. "He doesn't want to take his medicin" her mother stoped with what she was doing, and turned around and looked at her.

"He's still thinking about that?" she asked, and Cameron nodded.

"He told me that you told him to think about it, if it was what he really wanted... and I think he has made his mind up about this" Cameron said, and looked over at her sister who was holding Philip who couldn't sleep. Her sisters eyes were full with tears, for being twins they didn't look so much alike, they looked pretty much they same, but Danny was tall with curves, she got their mothers big eyes instead of their fathers small, thier nose looked diffrent, and had diffrent haircoulor, she had a redish coulor.

"I hate how stubborn he is at times" her mother said and wiped her tears away.

"Yeah..." the two younger women in the room said.

"So I'm not going to give him anymore?" her mother shook her head.

"It's what he want..." she shruged. And Danny and Cameron nodded their heads.

* * *

AN: So thank you those who rewieved! I really really (really) liked that! LOVE YOU! XD.  
Well, I said to myself that I would have this chapter up when I started with chapter nine... see how far I've written! So it's not going to be an other unfinished story! But.. well, I wrote the start, and I really liked it! But then... my IE shut down and I couldn't copy it... I think all computers hare my story... This is a problem that always comes back! Well, next chapter will be up when... lets say a part of chapter nine has been written! (Hopefully the whole chapter nine..)  
And I know this isn't as long as the last one but... well I have no exuse. 


	3. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2_

House called her everyday, she only answered when she was in a hurry and forgot to look at the caller id, which wasn't so often. But House didn't give up, he called everyday, sometimes two times a day, sometime she thought he would tell her he knew, but he didn't, he didn't know. She didn't know if she thought that was a good or a bad thing.

She knew she was childish, running away from him like a scared child, not telling him what was his right to know, but still she never called him and told him the truth, she was stubborn that way, like her father, once she made up her mind on something, it was hard to make her change it.

It had been 4 months since she left New Jersey, 5 months pregnant, it was time for her to look up adoptive parents for her baby. She had gotten a book filled with people who wanted to adopt.

Gabrielle watched her daughter as she looked through that book. She couldn't really let it sink in, this would surely break her daughter. Her daughter had been through so much, from her early teenyears trouble wouldn't seam to leave her alone, she broke one time before, when she was 16 years old, Gabrielle remembered finding her daughter on the floor in the bathroom in her own pool of blood, she had never been as scared like that day, sitting in the waiting room, not knowing if your own daughter would survive, not knowing if your daughter wanted to survive, why she had done it. She remembered how small she had looked in that hospital bed, purple bruises from something she still didn't know about, her daughter had kept that secret from all of them.

She was afraid to talk to her daughter about it, afraid of how her daughter would react if she brought up things she knew she was trying to forget, she knew her daughter had a hard time sleeping, she herself had it too, they would meet each other in the kitcen in the middle of the night, sharing looks of a silent conversation, every night it was a diffrent look, it almost grew colder, but warmer too, it was strange to see such battle in her daughters eyes, her daughter could lie about things, but emotions she couldn't keep in check, just like her mother

She watched as her daughters hand subcontiontiosly went to rest on her swolen stomach, and she smiled slightly, why couldn't her daughter realize that she could keep this baby.

She walked up to her daughter, and looked down in the book, her daughter looked up.

"Is anyone good?" she asked casually..

"Yeah... all of them are.. but these sound good: male 38 woman 35, the have tried to have a baby for two years. The man is a editor and the woman is a journalist. They have a big circle of friends, and have enough money to support at least 5 children"

"They sound good" Gabrielle told Cameron, and Cameron smiled.

"Of them I've read about they sound like the best, a big circle of friends is a good thing and everthing is just... great"she heard that her daughter faked happy, really bad.

"Good, are you going to pick them?" she asked her daughter as she sat down next to her and put an arm around her.

"I still have a few pages left, and I have to meet them first... but probably"

"Good" she squeezed Cameron's shoulder, and looked down at the paper as she turned the page with a sigh. "That'ts good" she kissed her daughters forehead.

"Yeah" Cameron said in a whisper.

------

"How are you feeling dad?" Cameron asked as she walked out in the cold where her father was sitting.

"Wonderfull!" he smiled at her. His nose and cheeks were red, he had gloves who were dubble the seize of his hand, a big green jacket and a red hat.

"You look silly" she told him, and shook her head, a small smile on her face.

"You look great" she laughed, and sat down next to him and looked out over the snowcovered garden.

"Yeah yeah... stop telling me that, I may get crazy"

"Aren't you all ready?" she glared at him before smiling.

"Only a little" she shruged, and they sat there in silence for a while.

Cameron's hands rested on her bump that was only partly hidden under her jacket, it was the day before she was meeting the people how could be the ones to raise the child in her stomach.

"Have you talked to the doctor yet?" she asked when the silence became too much, his eyes turned to her, he was hesitant to answer.

"Yes, talked to him when you were at your last doctors appointment..." Cameron nodded.

"What did he say?" she heard her father take a deap breath.

"Without meds I have about... 3-6 months left... on them I have about a year" he shruged.

"Oh" she looked to the ground, and leaned closer to her dad. "Then we have to make this time left great" she smiled and huged him. His beard tickled her cheek and she giggled, and green eyes looked at her, curiousity sparkled.

----

She heard a playfull banter from outside the door, and she took a deap breath. She'd worn the best clothes she could find, washed her hair countless times but she still couldn't shake the feeling that she'd forgotten something. As she once again, looked through her purse to see if she had her cellphone with her, and that it was turned off, the door opened, and a couple just a bit older then herself walked in the room hand in hand.

"Hi! My name is Kathryn" the blond woman said with a waved shyly, and Cameron reached her hand out to shake it. "And this is David" she pointed at the man, and she did the same with him.

"I'm Allison" she smiled at them, and they nodded, and sat down.

"So your questions... what ever you got" David said and smiled.

"I was just wondering... what are your working hours?" she thought she'd begin with that one, she didn't want her child to be left alone, if it would, she might as well keep it?

"Usually they are from 9-4 or 5, but that depends on the days and if we're behind in work" Kathryn said simply.

"What kind of neighbourhood are you living in...?"

"It's just outside Chigago, with security guards in the lobby" Kathryn answerd again, but then she started to look puzzled "I imagened you younger..." Kathryn said. "Why would you want to give up your baby?"

"Eh... I got pregnant from a... one night stand... and my job is _more_ then demanding..." she sighed as she had given the same exlaination as always, the simple one, the short one. It would take to long to explain that her boss was the father, a person she once had loved, about the stupid and childish bet, about everything...

"Okay..." Kathryn answered and looked to where Cameron's hands neatly and protectivly rested on her stomach, and she saw a huge possibility that they may not get this child, she was to etached, it wouldn't be the first time.

-----

"Andrea! Stop that!" Cameron yelled over the room, her sister had ditched them with her in the last minute.

"No!" Adrea yelled over the room, and trew yet an other ball on her younger brothers who only screamed louder.

"Now!" she demanded "Stop that now!" she sighed, she _hated_ that neice of hers at that moment, and on top of it Maya was tugging at her trousers.

"Aunty Ally! Aunty!! Ally!!" she yelled to get her attention.

"Yes, Maya, what is it?" she asked stressed.

"Why are you so fat?"

"Jeez thanks" was Cameron's recponce, and Maya pouted and rushed over to her sister and grabed the balls she had been trownig at her brother and trew them at her instead, Cameron sighed.

"Aunty Ally! She's trowing balls at me!!" Andrea whined.

"How do you think your brothers felt?" she asked Andrea, not caring that she once again was acting childish, sometimes it was nessesery. And she started to clean up he room the best she could with children still in it.

"But they can't even speak yet, not even say a swearword!" Andrea protested. "I can say one! Sh-" her mouth was covered with Camerons hand quickly.

"You can not say that word out loud, okay? Do you understand me?"

"Yes aunty Ally" Andreas eyes matched her fathers brown when he did the "puppy" face, and Cameron couldn't help but laugh.

"Good" Cameron sighed with relife, and she smothed out her shirt, and looked over to Maya who was standing there, arms behind her back. "And you Maya, don't trow balls at your sister"

"She trew them at Jimmy and Philip!" Maya protested.

"That doesn't make it okay" she shook her head, she couldn't understand how her sister could deal with 4 kids at the same time, 4!

"But Anuty Ally... why_ are _you fat?" Maya asked again, and Cameron sat down because her legs were killing her.

"Because I have a baby in there" she told Maya and smothed her hair.

"How did you get a baby in _there_?" she asked, confused.

"A man gave it to me" she said simply. Maya frowned, but knew most things are to complicated to even begin to consider.

"So I'm going to have a cousin? Like Hannah!?" Maya asked, almost shouted with happiness.

"No Maya... I'm having this baby for an other woman who wants children, but a man can't give her one" she said, and Maya sat down next to her, a frown yet again on her face.

"Okay" she said sadly. She looked over to her brothers and sisters. "Will you tell us a story?" she asked, and smiled.

"Sure... Andrea do you also want to hear a story?"

"Yay!" she trew her hands up in the air and ran over to them. "About a princess! Please!" Cameron laughed, and nodded.

"Okay, about a princess" Andrea and Maya curled up next to her, and she looked over to Philip and Jimmy who were now sleeping. "Once upon a time there was a little princess, she was really happy living in her far away kingdom. Her father, the king, and her mother the queen, were the only people she knew in the whole wide world. She had a little sister though... but she was sooo many years younger then her, and she couldn't play with her. That was when..." what she didn't know was that her parents were listening to every word she said, just outside the doors of the livingroom, sitting on their chairs with matching sad smiles.

----

"I'm walking on sunshine... wohoho! I'm walking sunshine...!" Danny and her husband Trevor sang out of tune in their kitchen while making dinner. Cameron watched amused, never had she seen her sister and brother inlaw so relaxed around her during the time she had been in Chigago. She shook her head and took some advocado that they'd put in the sallad, and smiled teasingly when her sister caught her with a glare.

"Wait til' dinner, or you'll be full by the time it's served" she said warningly.

"Yes mom" she mocked, and smiled, her sister laughed, and started to sing loudly again with her husband. The girls were at a sleepover and Phil and Jimmy were being watched by their mom and dad.

She stood up when her phone rang, and she walked out into the livingroom where she left her cellphone on the coffeetable. She laughed again as they sang really false, and picked her cellphone up and read the display, a thing she had started a habit of doing.

_House _it read, and she took a deap breath, simply staring at the phone. Tears formed in her eyes, and she looked down. She couldn't do this, this was too hard, keeping this from House would be the hardest task in her life. But she had kept so many things from House during the years, he had not figured out anything of her past, only glimps of it. She smothed her hair out, and held the phone in her hand as it rang, her fingers hoovering over the no and yes button. After a few seconds with an innerbattle, she pressed no, and up came a message of one missed call. A few minutes later she got a message from her inbox, she called it quickly, knowing that Trevor and Danny were busy at the moment.

"_You got one new message... came in at 6.23pm december third_." she waited for the message to start after the long pause, like it knew that she needed to collect herself for this message.

_"Nice reciever!" _she heard House's voice, and a strange bold feeling filled her. _"I think it's a little to long for my taste... " _there was a long silence, almost too long, and she wonered if she missed that he had hunged up, but then the voice telling her the message was over would have came. _"I'm just calling to check up on you... you've been ignoring me I see (chuckle)... I can see why"_ her heart started to beat faster, he couldn't know, or could he? _"I'm a heartless bastard who you couldn't fix, now that is a huge problem for you" _she heard through the sarcasm that this wasn't what he intended to say. _"Anyway... call me when you hear this, I have something to tell you... or don't, you probably won't." _and the message ended, just like that.

She closed her phone and looked down on it, she wondered how it would've been if she had told House, would she had been pregnant then? Would she had been happy, or really miserable. There was no way she could know, she just wished she did.

"Are you okay?" Danny asked conserned, Cameron looked rather pale.

"Yeah... I'm fine" she said with a smile, and put the cell phone on the table next to her.

"Who was it?" Trevor asked, turning around from putting the food in the oven.

"House" she said and started to play with the phone.

"Oh" Trevor answered and quickly looked away.

--

After dinner they watched a movie they'd rented earlier, after having to watch kids movies for over 5 years, they choosed a horror, against Cameron's will.

Half way into the movie they had all ready figured out the end, but continued to watch for the middle part, it was how they got to the end that would be exciting. But Cameron was holding Danny's hand really tight, closing her eyes everytime the girl ran away from the monsters, or when the girl screamed, or anything that could resemble something scary, she absolutly didn't like scary movies.

She sighed with relife when her cell phone rang, and she grabed it and ran out of the room. She looked at the caller id- Wilson? She had forgoten that she'd put his number in there.

"Hello?" she said, and quickly looked out into the livingroom, they were too wrapped up in the movie to hear her, so she went to sit on the stairs just next to the door. She looked out of the window just as she got a responce.

"Hi... it's Wilson" he said, and sounded distracted.

"Yeah... I know" she answered, and looked to the livingroom again, the volume was so loud that it made her heartbeat faster even when she was sitting out there.

"So how have you been?" he asked casually.

"Wilson, you haven't called me once before, so why are you calling now?" she heard him sigh, and she leaned against the railing of the stairs.

"You've been ignoring House's calls" he stated.

"Yes" she admited.

"He's been bugging me because of it... can't you just take his calls?" he asked, and this was her time to sigh.

"No, I'm off from work an other 7 months, I have no intentions of thinking of anything work related while I'm here" she said, it was one thing she couldn't take.

"Why are you talking to me then?" he asked, and she almost smiled at her own stupidness.

"House only calls because he want's to whine at me, feel that he still have some power over me still when I'm this far away"

"House calls you because he's miserable" she closed her eyes and fought the wave of guilt that washed over her.

"He's always miserable, that's who he is, a miserable s.o.b" she snapped, she didn't like that wave of guilt, and everytime she got it she snapped in one way or the other, this time: verbly "Sorry... I'm just tired" she said and rubbed her eyes, she was actually tired.

"Ok..." he said, and she started to hear sining from the livingroom again, Trevor and Danny was singing along to the music that came with the subtitles, Cameron didn't want to know how they could sing along to almost every song that was played. She knew Wilson heard it cause he chuckled.

"It's my sister and brother inlaw..." she explained, and shook her head. "They've been singing all day, believe me, it's real hell" he laughed loudly, and suddenly he became quiet, and she almost heard him say 'shit'.

"I uh got to go..." he started, but she heard a voice in the backround, somebody who sounded a lot like House.

_"Who are you talking to?"_ he asked, she heard Wilson hesitate, damned Wilson. She knew he'd figured it out when she heard his voice closer.

"Cameron?" her breath caught in her troath, tears stung her eyes and she couldn't get out a word, she only sat there in silence. "Cameron, are you there?" she closed her eyes and willed herself to either speak or hang up. She heard Trevor and Danny singing, happy. Why couldn't she be happy?

"Yeah..." she said after a while, but she wasn't sure if he heard it. But now Hose didn't answer, they only sat there in silence for minutes, the song died out in the livingroom, the sound of carhorns seamed far away, and they only thing she could hear was the sound of his breath.

"Why have you been avoiding my calls?" he asked, and she didn't know an answer, she stared at the ground.

"Cause I didn't know what to say to you..." she said and looked at her fingers who her sister had painted that morning in a really light pink colour that was just a shade paler then her skin.

"About what?" she could hear fingers druming on a wooden surface, and she pitchured House sitting by the piano, druming his fingers on the top of it while waiting for her answer.

"About everything..." she didn't know what to say. "My father refuses treatment" she could feel the tears well up in her eyes, and soon tears were falling frealy. "And I just hate it... there is nothing I can do... I can't save my dad, I can't keep any secrets and... I can't be happy, I can't be like my sister" she tried to fight the sobbs that were treathening to escape her mouth. "And I can't make a healthy person love me... a nice person. And I'm getting tired of lying, of faking, I just-" she stoped herself before she told him, put a hand over her mouth and looked up, there in the door way stood her sister looking at her sadly. "I'm sorry... I have to go" she said quickly, and flipped the phone shut.

Her sister rushed up to her and huged her tightly.

"It's going to be okay" she hushed Cameron who burried her head in her shoulder. "It's going to be all right"

* * *

AN: Ok, to be honest I wasn't going to update for a while, but I was in such a great mood I just had to! I just got a new cell, after two years with the shittiest cell phone in the world, and my soon thirtytwo year old sister has finally found herself a boyfriend after being single for my whole life (as far as I know), and that's 15 years (soon). So I'm walking on sunshine! And I'm soon going to "Gröna Lund" with a friend I haven't seen for two months, and then I'm going to Gothenbourg (?) and live with my sister, and go to "Liseberg", and then I'm going to Gotland with two friends, and my familly!!! July is the best month ever! And with this I say: updates can become tricky...  
**THANK ALL OF YOU WHO REVEIWED LAST CHAPPTER! YOU MADE THESE RAINY DAYS "FUNNER"XD  
Sorry for typos(if there are any, my readingglasses are gone for the moment...), if you see something major, or something that really anoys you, tell me, and I'll fix it!**


	4. Chapter 3

_Chapter 3_

"Do you believe in farytales Aunty Ally?" Andrea said as she looked up from where she played with barbies with her sister.

"Yes I do actually" she lied as she looked up from the book she was reading. "I believe that every girl will find her prince charming, and that there are big castles where kings, queens, princes and princesses live and they wear long gowns and dresses and crowns" Cameron smiled when Andrea seamed pleased with the answer.

"Have you met your prince charming Aunty Ally?" Maya said as she redressed her doll.

"I don't know actually" Cameron said sadly.

"Why not?" Andrea and Maya looked at her confused.

"Because there are so many prince charming's in the world that it's hard to know which one is just your prince charming" Cameron explained. "Your mother found her prince charming" Cameron said as an example to where someone found their 'one'.

"Really!?" they both exclaimed. "Who?" their eyes were wide with excitement.

"Your dad"

"Daddy's is no prince charming!" Andrea protested, and wrinkled her nose.

"Yes I am" said a voice behind Cameron.

"Daddy!" the both girls screamed as they ran up to their father. "Daddy I missed to _so _much! This much!" Andrea said and pulled her arms out as long as she could.

"Wow,_ that_ much?" Trevor asked sounding surprised. "Why that much?" he asked.

"Because it's saturday stupid" Maya said with a smile.

"And what is it with saturday? It's just a day, just like monday is, and tuesday and-" he was cut off by Andrea.

"Because we get to eat candy!" she said to him like he was stupid, and Trevors mouth fell open in surprise, and it looked just like the one he used when he mocked Danny.

"You do?" his eyes grew wide when they nodded. "Well then you have to eat really good so that you can eat all that candy" he warned, and they nodded. "Good, now play with your dolls, ok?"

"Okay!" they both said with smiles, and Trevor turned to her.

"Thank you for watching them" he said, and walked into the kitchen, Cameron followed with her big stomach, 7 months and even she who was a doctor got a little surprised that it would actually get bigger.

"Ah, I love them, it's okay when they are pleased to play with the dolls" she shruged it off, and sat down in the nearest chair in the kitchen. Trevor smiled.

"How is dad?" he asked, ever since Trevor and Danny got engaged dad had insisted that Trevor would call him dad, or not talk to him at all, it was an eaisy choice.

"He's okay... stubborn, but he's out of bed still... so that's good" she smiled. "But I don't think he'll stay in bed even when he has to."

"Me neither, that man is the most stubborn man I've ever met" Trevor laughed, and unpacked the stuff that he'd bought while being out.

"But how's Danny feeling?" Danny had catched the flu a few days earlier, to avoid that the kids would catch it, they stayed at Cameron's mom and dads house

"She's starting to feel a bit better, but she's still a bit bad"

"Well that's good" Cameron smiled, and her cell phone rang again, she ignored it, the tune told her who it was. "What did you buy?" she asked, and walked over to the counter.

"Eh some vegetables, meat that mom asked for, beer that both your mom and dad asked for, the chips you asked for, some other things you and mom asked for and ice cream that I thought we could have for desert since we haven't had desert for a while, and some candy, but don't tell them where I hid it" he said and looked around the corner to see if they'd heard him, and he then put it in the topshelves (it would be a miracle if they reached it without killing themselves), and Trevor smiled misheviously. "Aren't you going to answer that?" he asked as he started to get anoyed with the ringing.

"No" Cameron said and grabed her chips.

"Why not?" Trevor frowned.

"It's either Chase, Foreman, Wilson or House... I don't want to talk to them" Trevor nodded, but still walked up to the phone, and he answered it.

"Hello" he said and looked over to Cameron's angry face and instantly regretted what he'd done. "I'm her brother inlaw" he said angrily into the phone. And Cameron sighed as she looked out into the livingroom, and frooze. "No she's not here"

"Maya! What happend?" she yelled, and walked up to Andreas lifeless body that Maya was just staring at. "Maya!" she yelled, "tell me!" Maya started to cry, and pointed at one of the small peices that had came loose from the doll house. "Oh my god" she said and quickly checked her breathing, she tried to get the peice out, but it was stuck.

"Trevor! Call 911!" she yelled.

-----------

Cameron sat next to Trevor who sat next to Danny, Danny was half crying, and Cameron and Trevor were looking out into space in shock. Maya was asleep in Trevors lap, and Philip and Jimmy were sleeping in their carseats. Their mom and dad were trying to get them into Andreas room.

_What happend?_

They keept asking themselves, why did it happen?

Cameron rubbed her eyes, she was tired, but everytime she closed her eyes she saw Andreas face that got bluer and bluer, and suddenly pale. She thought she was scared before, this was nothing like it, she couldn't believe what Trevor and Danny was feeling.

She closed her eyes and leaned against the wall, trying hard not to fall asleep, but she lost that battle.

She was woken up by her father 20 minutes into her sleep, he demanded that she was going home with him and Gabrielle, she agreed after a small fight.

When they got home she fell asleep as soon as she laid down on her bed, she felt guilty when she woke up by her phone ringing, she tried to remember why she kept the phone on.

"Hello?" she answered with tiredness evident in her voice, and the baby kicked in her stomach as she did so.

"Nice of you to answer" she tried to place the voice, she closer her eyes and tried to think. "I've been getting complains from a sertain someone that you aren't answering your phone" suddenly her eyes flew open.

"Cuddy!" she exclaimed, and suddenly realised what she'd done.

"You don't have to scream"

"Sorry"

"Don't worry" Cuddy sighed on the other end. "How is it going over there?" she could hear someone talk in the backround, probably a doctor or her assistant.

"It's okay I guess" she answered dinn't want to go in on it too much after her outburst to House.

"How's your father?" she asked, sounding a bit distracted.

"He won't take his meds..." she could hear that Cuddy stoped doing something with the papers on what could've been her desk.

"He doesn't?" Cuddy sounded really surprised.

"Yeah" she sighed and tried to get up, something that was almost impossible. "He has- about - 2 to 5 months left..." it was hard trying to speak the same time as getting out of bed.

"Ok... are you okay?" Cuddy asked concerned.

"Yeah I'm just- stuck" she gave up, the bed was too low, so she sat where she were, and would have to wait for someone to check on her.

"Just give them to House... tell him I sent them... I don't care" Cameron listened to Cuddy's voice and wished she would just tell her why she called so she could get a better try to get out of this bed. "Uh... I was wondering if you could get back to work earlier?" Cuddy said after a while.

"How much are we talking about?" she asked, and looked down at her stomach and whimpered.

"Maybe in... eh 2 weeks?" the hopefulness in her voice made it hard for Cameron to turn down, but in no way she could work.

"No... I would want to stay with my dad... I won't be seeing him so much soon" Cameron sighed, tears were welling up in her eyes, she hated hormones, and suddenly a sobb came out of no where.

"Allison... Daniella wants to talk to you" her dad stood in the doorway holding a phone to his chest.

"I'm sorry Cuddy but I have to go..."

"Wait, Cameron, are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine" she said, and wipped away a few tears.

"You don't sound fine"

"Yeah it's just much going on... my neice was brought into the ER yesterday... and speaking of that, I have to talk to my sister..."

"Okay... but will you call me later?"

"When I get time yeah"

"Bye"

"Bye"

She ended the call and changed phone, on the other phone she got good news, they could bring Andrea home, Cameron smiled, happy news yes, now she just needed an even better explaination for Cuddy for not wanting to come back to work.

-------------------------

"Can we get ice cream?" Maya asked from the backseat, she was jumping up and down telling her sister everything that happend yesterday, Andreas eyes were wide with astonishment.

"Of course! We have to celebrait!" Trevor smiled into the rerveiw, and Cameron shook her head. "What kind of ice cream do you want?" he asked.

"Choclate!" Maya screamed. "Strawberry!" Andrea screamed.

"Okey dokey" Trevor said, and trew a fist in the air. "What does Aunty Ally want?"

"Hm... I think I want melon" she smiled at Trevor.

"I never get how people can like melon..." he shook his head.

"What do you want daddy?" Andrea asked.

"Oh I want choclate like little Maya over here"

"I'm not little!" Maya protested. "I turn 6 this year!" she smiled and two teeths were missing in the front.

"Okay okay, I'm sorry, like big Maya then?"

"Yes! Like BIG Maya" she smiled and tured to Cameron. "Aunty Ally, do you want to know what my teachers in school call me?" Cameron nodded. "Silly!" she laughed, and Cameron and Trevor laughed, but they didn't get it, neither did Andrea.

"I don't get it" Andrea said with a shrug on her shoulders.

"What is it that you don't get?" Maya like it was the most obvious thing in the world that everyone would get it.

"Why they call you silly, and why it is so funny..." Andrea explained.

"Well, I'm so silly in school so they call me silly so often" Maya explained, and Trevors laugh suddenly echoed through the car.

"Sorry" he said, and did his 'oops' face. It facinated Cameron on how many faces he did in just one hour, he probably did one in every sentence.

They turned off the road and drove into a small ice cream bar. After ordering they sat down and ate their ice creams at a blue and white table. Andrea kept telling them story's about the nurses and doctors, and Maya kept telling her what happend when the ambulance came, soon they were both sick of their story's and ran off to play in a corner of the ice cream bar that was reserved for children.

"Danny told me that you are meating with the adoptive parents again tomorrow..." he said to her as his eyes kept looking back ad forwards between her and Maya and Andrea.

"Yeah, they're so great... It's hard to find such nice people" she said while tracing pattarns on the broken surface of the tables.

"I bet" he said with a smile, and looked at Maya who was starting to climb a small wall with holes in it. "How old are they?"

"Just a couple of years older then me, around your age" she shruged. "They think it's strange that a woman that is in her thirties is giving up her baby... they thought I would be a teen or in my early twenties" she looked at him sadly. "I just hope that this kid won't judge people like them... I mean they don't mean it... but it hurts" she looked over to Andrea and Maya. "They may not say it, but it is in their eyes" she looked over to Trevor again. "Just like in yours... all of you" she looked down again, ashamed by her confession.

"Maybe we should get home" he said then, and stood up to get Maya and Andrea, and they drove home in silence.

The next day Danny called her, beging for forgivness.

------

"Do you want to know if it's a boy or a girl?" Cameron asked as she sat in their livingroom. It felt strange for her to sit in the apartment that her child would grow up in, but she would probably never step her foot in again.But the apartment was great, they'd shown her where the baby would stay, they'd had it ready for years, just waiting for a baby to move in. The colours on the walls were mild, and there were no hard edges on furtniture and other things, they were more then prepered.

"No, no we want to wait until it's born" David said with a slight laugh, nervous Cameron noted. They weren't close, Cameron had a hard time with these people, they were going to take the one thing that she wanted, the one thing she couldn't have, if she had what she wanted, she would have to give up on something else, even if she told House now, she would never be able to look into his eyes. Not that she thought she would now either.

"Okay, good" Cameron said and nodded. She took a deap breathe, looked at Kathyn and David, studied their apperance. Kathryn had long curley blond hair and deap brown eyes, David had brown hair and dark blue eyes, almost black, both of them were tall. If this baby would get House's blue eyes and her height, there would be no way to fool many people that this child was actually theirs.

"I was just wondering, what are you going to do after the baby's born?" Kathryn asked, and curiousity shone in her eyes.

"I'm going to stay here for 4 more months and then I'm going back to New Jersey" she said simply, nodded.

"What do you work with?" David asked they were obviously trying to figure out her life.

"I'm a doctor" they were going to raise her child, they would have the right to know, they nodded and smiled.

"I was wondering, what kind of person the father was... I mean if you remember..." Kathryn asked.

"Oh... he's quite sarcastic, stubborn, smart, handsome, curious... he loves pussles and... he's caring about the people he know" she just realised she had summoned up House in one sentence, though it was pretty roughly done. "He's a doctor too, a brilliant doctor"

"Oh-ok" they both nodded, and Cameron smiled. Tension back in full force.

* * *

AN: I'm suffering a writersblock, so to comfort myself, I updated this... I wrote chapter nine yesterday, but my friends called, and chapter nine is history... but it's done now... and well... I'll keep quiet.  
Thank you for reviewing:D And please continue to do so!


	5. Chapter 4

_Chapter 4_

Damn, this getting out of bed thing was getting hard for her.

She glared at the clock, she so didn't want to miss her mother and father before they left for the weekend in a log cabin in the mountains. She heard the coupboards open and close, the sound of doors slaming, chairs being pulled and the sound of a radio blasting music from the sixties, and on top of it all: her mother and father singing. What was it with this familly and singing?

"Hello? Can I get some help please!" she yelled, nothing, they kept on singing and doing whatever they were doing "Hello!?" she yelled, getting extreamly anoyed. She kept doing this for 3 minutes before her troath started to ache, she snapped up her cell phone and rung her parents number.

"Can you please come upstairs and help me! I've been yelling for minutes now but you can't hear me over your singing!" she whined. "What is it with this familly and singing!?" she asked extreamly anoyed, but was confused when it was silent on the other end. "Hello? Mom, dad? Are you there?"

"No" she heard a deap voice say, and her eyes grew wide.

"Shit!" she yelled, and trew a hand over her mouth, in her head she was saying every swear word she could think of, why was his last name House? Why was it just under home? Why why why why????

"Wacht ya' language there Cameron" she heard him say, and she wanted to pace, but she couldn't get out of bed,instead she trew a hand over her eyes and tried to think.

"Sorry, just got a little surprised there... sorry about the rant before it too..." she bit her lip, and let her hand slide down her face, and it slowly made its way to her stomach, where the baby was sleeping.

"No worries" he said, and she knew he smirked. "So why do I get the honor of your call?"

"Wrong number" she said, and something changed with the sound on the other end. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Cameron!" she heard Chase exclaimed. "Speaker phone" amusement was evident in House's voice when he said it.

"Figures" she said with a sigh, and looked at the door, there was no singing anymore, but slaming was there. "Wait a sec" she said and held a hand over the phone. "Mom! Dad! Help please!" she yelled, and the slaming stoped, and a mumble of voices was heard, she smiled a smile of victory. "I'm back" she said, pleased.

"What do you need help with? Maybe we can help" House with humor and curiousity.

"I'm stuck" she heard a door close.

"Again?" Cuddy said, and Cameron wished her pillow was a hard wall that she could bang her head against, but it dued for the time being.

"Yes... I never learn" Cameron said, a half lie, and her mother opend the door with a chuckle.

"Sweety..." she said and laughed again.

"Wait a sec again" she did the same thing this time, and put it down on the mattress and mouthed House to her mother, and she was quiet about the baby, she held her arms out and Cameron took them, after a few tries Cameron was up, she whispered to her mother if she could give her the phone, and her mother joked that this was going to be the end of her.

"Okay I'm back" she said with a sigh, and smoothed out her pyjamas, she almost laughed out loud when she caught a glance of her in the mirror, she was just a big stomach.

"Took you long enough" she rolled her eyes and made her way out of the room and downstairs.

"Well I don't know why I'm talking to you so maybe I should just hang up?" she waited for a responce.

"No... wait a second..." she started to walk down the sairs and stoped a second to take in the fact that House had just asked her to stay, ignoring the fact that he probably had a good reason. "Cuddy here told me you wouldn't come back" she sighed and started to walk again.

"And?" she asked, and let a big sigh out as she saw the suitcases by the door, her sister would arrive at any second to help them with it into the car, but when they get there... that's a diffrent question neither of them had thought of.

"Why?" he asked, she shook her head and ignored his question.

"Since when is it your buisness?" she looked over to her parents who were standing in the kitchen talking and smiling at each other.

"Since I'm your boss" she laughed out loud and wondered where Chase and Foreman were.

"Is Foreman and Chase there?" she sat down on a chair and looked at the bowl infront of her, wondering what to eat.

"Yes, we're here" Foreman said from a distance.

"How are you then?" she asked, wanting to forget the fact that House heard every word she said.

"They're fine" House interupted. "Wh-"

"I wasn't talking to you" she interupted him, and she would've glared at him if he was in the same room as her, which that god he wasn't. "I think they're compitent to answer themselves" she said calmly, or faking calm.

"Actually, how would you know that? They could've been in some accident that-"

"Chase talked to me before, and then Foreman" Cameron answered, getting extreamly anoyed with House. "And if you're going to keep on interupting I'm going to hang up" she said to him like she was talking to Maya, and she realised that she'd been around children too much.

"Wow, take it easy" she rolled her eyes again, and started to pour milk on top on the cereal and the phone started to ring. She paused in what she was doing and looked up at her mom who answered it.

"Allison, it's for you" she said.

"Who is it?" she asked, holding her hand over the phone.

"David Gardner" she nodded.

"I've got to go" she said into the phone.

"Sure... but you do know that the hand-over-the-phone-thing isn't working" her eyes went wide, and tried to remember if they'd said anything he shouldn't know, but then knew they hadn't talked about the baby this morning.

"Now I do... but seriously, I got to go... Bye" she said as quickly as she could, and changed phone.

David told her that he and Kathryn were going out of town to his parents inlaw, celabraiting the fact that they would finally get a baby, so that if something happend she would call this or that number- if something happend to the baby Cameron translated sadly in her head. They loved this child already, it wasn't even theirs to begin with, but they were going to raise it, for her, instead of her- because she was a scared coward, and she could never take it back now. She should've just told House the truth, told him yes. But it was too late to change now.

She said goodbye to her parents an hour later, sat with her sister for the first time in months alone.

"Ally? Do you want fruitsallad?" her sister asked from her kitchen.

"Uh... yes please!" she yelled back. A few minutes later her sister walks into the livingroom with a big bowl of fruit, and sat down next to her, smile sympatheticly at her.

"Why are you smiling like that?" Cameron asked boding trouble.

"Oh.. I just thought we could watch a homevideo..." Danndy said casually, and pulled out a video out of her purse.

"No! nuhu! Not that one!" Cameron protested. "Where did you get that one?" she asked. "I thought mom hid it in the adict!"

"Well I found it!" she smiled.

"You're really mean!" Cameron whined, trying to not think of what it contained. "Not to mention the fact that you did the tape!" Cameron's eyes were wide, that was the video her sister had made for high school graduation, a really embaressing tape of her childhood.

"And now were going to watch it... along with the tape that dad did for me at collage graduation" Danny said calmly, their dad had done an ecually embaressing tape for Danny, well close anyway just to make up for Cameron's humilation at high school graduation.

"Fine" Cameron said and crossed her arms over her chest. "If you insist" she gave her sister a sarcastic smile, and Danny put it in. A few seconds later, a 6 months old Cameron was shown, with the title:"What you thought about this girl was wrong... this is the truth!" and then a three year old Cameron came rushing up to the camera.

"Look daddy, look a spwidew! said into the camera shocked.

"What? Where?" he faked shocked.

"Over thewe!" she pointed to somewhere in the backyard, and he rushed over with the camera to film the spider, but was greeted by a big green leave.

"Ally... this is a leave" he said.

"No, spwidew" she insisted. "Danny said it!" she confessed, and adult Cameron and Danny laughed: Cameron got tricked really easy when she was litte, a thing that was shown quite alot in this tape. Along with running into walls, forgeting lines in awful playes, telling a teacher that she had a beard, and other stupid things. And one of the most humiliating things that happend when she was 15 and was going on her first date, the date showed up, and just when they turned around to leave, and her skirt fell down.

When the tape ended with an incident that happend only two weeks before graduation Danny turned to her with teary eyes, and just laughed, really hard, Cameron laughed with her, and told her it was her turn.

------

After dinner they sat in the couch again, the playfullness from that afternoon was gone and replaced with a depressing sadness, it had all changed so suddenly, they didn't really know how, but they suddenly felt like they needed to talk to each other.

"Ally... I know I've asking this a _million_ times, but answer me honestly, in a 10 minutes long ramble: how are you feeling?" Cameron closed her eyes and thought for a second, collecting all her thoughts.

"Awfull..." she said simply, and looked at her sister. "I'm giving this baby up because I got scared and couldn't tell the father... couldn't tell House" she ran a hand through her hair. "And these people _really_ want children, and I just wonder: Am I a bad person for giving my baby up?"

"No honey, you're doing a wonderful thing: you are giving two people who wanted for _so_ long to be parents the gift to be parents" she rubbed her hand over Camerons arm.

"That's just it..._ they_ want children, am I crazy for not wanting this child?" she shook her head. "No wait.. I didn't mean it like that... what I meant was..." she took a deap breath. "Am I crazy for giving it up just to keep myself on the good side of House, keeping my job?"

"It's your life sis', your life is your job, it's House, it's everything you will give up if your going have this baby" her sister looked away. "Just like last time"

"You knew?" she asked her sister, first angry, then just confused. "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked softly.

"Because I wanted you to tell me... And I thought that if you didn't tell us, there was a reason behind it..." Danny explained.

"There was" Cameron knew that this was the time for her to explain everything. "After he died... I just wanted to forget... I was scared and alone... so I drank too much, and this guy came up to me... he was so wonderfull, he flirted with me, he was nice to me, it felt good to feel sexy again, not sitting next to your husbands bed in sweatpants and three days old makeup. And he bought me drinks, and we talked, and suddenly we were leaving for his apparment... I didn't remember his name, or what he looked like, all I remember of him was that smile, it reminded me so much of him..." she looked over to her sister who had tears in her eyes. "The next day there was a note basiclly saing: get the hell out of here... so I left, never saw him again... five weeks later I did a pregnancy test that showed positive, and I had no idea what to do. I asked myself the same question for months, untill I finally did it... there's nothing I regret more, but I wouldn't have done it differntly" Danny huged her.

"Why haven't you told me this before?" she asked.

"I was scared you would judge me..."

"For what? Being sad over your husbands death?" Danny asked.

"No... like you judged me when you found out I wasn't a virgin anymore..." Cameron looked down and remembered the day Danny had by accident read her diary, never again did they write in identical once.

"I didn't judge you I was just... shocked" Danny shruged. "We were so young..."

"I was screwed up" Cameron said.

"You were troubled" Danny corrected. "Your best friend killed herself, and then your other best friend did it too... that wasn't easy to deal with, and then you almost got raped" Danny smoothed out Cameron's hair, and Cameron looked down to the floor.

"I was thirteen Danny" she whispered.

"So it wasn't your weddingnight, so what? You're not alone with loosing it so young, some people loose it when they're younger" both of them sighed. "If you hadn't fought that man off you would've been twelve"

"Please, I don't want to think of that what if..." Cameron begged. "There are so many what if's right now that I think my head is about to explode"

"Okay..." Danny said "But one more thing... what happend that night mom found you in the bathroom?" Cameron sighed.

"The schools biggest slut called me a whore... then all kinds of roumors were spread about me... I think you heard some of them" Danny nodded and remembered the cruel things people said about her once popular sister. "My boyfriend dumped me... and everyone was... all the guys at school were..." tears started to form in her eyes. "they were so mean and gross... even a teacher tried to pick me up" she made a disgusted face "and I didn't understand why everone hated me... I had only slept with two guys... and then the day mom found me... this guy tried to... and I was so scared that I wouldn't be able to fight this time... I was so scared... and he did... right there in the girlslocker room" tears were falling freely from both girls eyes. "I didn't tell anyone cause no one would've believed me.. everyone would've said it was my fault, that I wanted it to happen... and I just missed Theresa and Hannah, I missed them so much" Cameron couldn't speak any more, Danny pulled Cameron into a tight hug, and they stayed like that for over and hour, just letting go of everything they'd held in.

----------------

2½ weels after the incident was Philip and Jimmy's first birthday, they all came over to Trevor and Danny's hour around 1pm, and set up all kinds of things that would suit at a childrens party. Kids in the ages from 1 to 6 years old were coming, the parents with them, it was unnessecary to say that it would be a full house. Danny braged to Cameron that Jimmy had been walking around for a month and that Philip had taken his first steps the day before, the pride in her eyes made everyone in the room smile.

At 3pm everyone was there, a clown was jumping up and down telling story's with big gestures about his dragon friend Marley that knew someone who knew someone who knew santa claus, all the eyes of the children in the room lit up, and they started to ask all kinds of questions about him, and all parents in the room smiled.

Cameron sat in the back, staring out of the window when she saw a car she reconized pull up infront of the house, quickly she pulled Danny and told her that she had to help her hide, quickly she helped Cameron hide in the closet close to the door so that she could still hear what was going on.

"I'm Dr.House, is Dr.Cameron around?" he asked, and she heard Danny pause.

"No, I'm sorry she just left"

"Care to tell me where?"

"No, I forgot where... sorry, but uh she may come back at the end of next month... she was going away with mom and dad somewhere" man Danny was a good liar!

"Well can you tell her to call me then, I really need to talk to her"

"Yes I will" the loud sounds of childrens shrieks were heard from around the house. "But I have a party to take care of" House mumbled bye, and soon the sound of his car pulling away was heard. She knocked on the door just to make sure that Danny hadn't forgotten about her.

"Sis' you never told me he was _hot_" Cameron bit her lip, House wasn't her favourite conversation topic.

"I never thought it was important" Danny smiled.

"But I guess you always fall for the hot ones" her sister teesed her and helped her out of the closet, it was a good thing no one noticed this cause it looked rather funny as Cameron got stuck almost half way through. "Man you're big!" Danny shook her head and laughed, Cameron just glared at her.

The rest of the party went by without any major incidents.

-----

Kathryn and David stoped by on a surprise visit, it was a surprise yes, Cameron answered the door in her sweat pants and sweat shirt, both dirty from being used to often, and her mom and dad where in the kitchen singing to an other of the one million songs they could sing without a single wrong word.

"Kathryn, David!" she said surprised, and her eyebrows went up as high in her forehead as humanly possible. "What are you doing here?"

"Well we thought since you are going to give us a baby we thought that maybe we could... get to know you?" Cameron bit her lip, she didn't know how to answer that one, she just wanted this to be over, forget about it, she didn't want to get to know these people.

"Oh... eh come in" she invited them in, and led them into the livingroom that was a mess, full with toys. "Sorry for the mess, my sisters kids were here earlier..." she explained, and moved a few toys so they could sit, they looked around the room, wishing they had this mess at home, a childrens mess.

"Oh don't worry, we are going to have to get used to it now" David said with a laugh, and Cameron nodded, uncomfterable.

"Do you want something to drink or eat?" Cameron asked when it got to quiet.

"No, you shouldn't" Kathryn protsested. And Cameron sighed, and it was quiet once again. It wasn't so that Cameron didn't like David and Kathryn, it was just... tense, they were going to raise her child and she just didn' know if she should thank them or dislike them for it, or envy them, so she didn't know how to act, afraid that she would give the wrong impression. And while the silence grew longer and longer, the bigger the tensions became, making it almost hard to breathe.

Cameron sighed with relife when her cell phone rung.

"Hello?" she said into the phone with almost to much enthusiasm.

"My my, aren't you happy" she closed her eyes, this was _not _her lucky day.

"Oh hi!" she said, too happy on the phone.

"What are you _on_?" House asked.

"Uh no... yes I will come over now" she said, and House was left confused.

"You're coming to New Jersey?"

"No... uhm... I have something to do first but as soon as I can?"

"What?"

"Yes, it will go fast" she turned to Kathryn and David. "I have to meet a friend who is in town just for today, is that okay?" she asked them and they nodded.

"Should I call back later?"

"No! I was just talking to some friends of mine" she smiled at them. "I just have to change"

"Okay you are really creeping me out" he said.

"Well then I'll see you later then? Bye"

"Bye" House said confused.

She smiled at Kahryn and David.

"I'm sorry but I forgot about that" she gave a apoligateic smile.

"Well... eh we'll see you later then?" Cameron nodded, and soon they both had left.

* * *

AN: I decided to update before I leave to live with my sister for a few days... and when I get back I will be busy...  
The weather sucks.. I'll just say that. I'm in winter clothes (inside), freezing (ok I'm wearing shorts, but also warm slippers and a hood, it looks really strange...)  
**I'M LOOKING FOR A BETA!!! **So, the beta will have the honor to beta the chapters I have aleady posted, and the five more chapters (there will probably be twelve thirteen and then an epilogue). SO PLEAAASEEE BE MY BETA! 


	6. Chapter 5

**Thank you ChibiEd for beaing a GREAT beta:D **

_Chapter 5_

She was crying, and it hurt, it hurt so much. The mental pain collided with the physical pain, and it was just all too much. She didn't want to do this. During the last week it had been the only thing on her mind, but she knew she was going to. She had to. All this for _one _lie, just because she got scared and ran away. She wondered in that moment if she could do it again. Run away? Just forget about House and everybody, to just be with her child. But it wouldn't be good for the baby; she knew she would have to move a lot the first few years because of House's curiosity. She hated the man at this point, also that doctor, couldn't he see that she was in _pain_?

Then he told her to stop pushing, and she realized that this was it. The last day she would ever spend with her child, but very first time she will see it. The tears that had started to dry came again, falling silently down her face. Then the child's cry came. It broke the silence that had held the room for a while. She collapsed back on the bed, and tried to regain to normal breathing.

"It's a boy" The doctor had said. Her breathing caught in her throat. She had just given birth to a son, she was a mother... no she was not a mother. She was just a woman who was going to give up her baby, so two other people could be parents. Suddenly the doctor looked at her, a question in his eyes.

"Do you want to hold him?" Did she want to hold him? She debated it for a long while.

"No." She shook her head. "No." She whispered again. She knew she wouldn't be able to let go then. The doctor nodded, this was the first time he delivered a baby whose mother wouldn't keep them. She looked away. She didn't want to see him, so she looked at the clock on the left. Then she realized that she would never forget this moment, the exact time.

Soon she was back in a room with a comfortable bed and her eyelids were getting heavy. But she didn't want to sleep until she had spoken to her sister, to anyone, she just wanted to be held. She wanted to forget the fact that she could be a mother if she wanted to right now.

It was too silent in the room. She could hear the nurses talking, doctors, visitors, patients and some distant children's cry. It was all too much, she just wanted her family to be there. After 20 minutes of waiting her sister finally came into the room. She rushed up to Cameron's bed when she saw the pain in her eyes and she hugged her, closely and tightly, as if she was never letting go.

"I don't want to give him up." Cameron cried. "I want him so much." She hugged her sister tighter. "Please tell me I can have him, please." Cameron begged her sister, but Danny was quiet. She had been around her sister so long to know that the reasons to give the baby up were more then to keep him, to know that Cameron's life wouldn't be better with the baby.

"Shh." She hushed her sister, and Cameron cried harder.

And there they sat, Danny almost on the edge of the bed, holding Cameron who was clinging on to her sister like she was life itself. After 10 minutes of crying, Cameron fell asleep, and the tears dried on her face.

The next time she woke up was when a doctor walked into the room. He said to her that it would be easier to let her baby go if she held him and saw him with her own eyes. Cameron protested, she didn't want to see him, it would hurt too much. But the doctor wouldn't give up, so just to get rid of the doctor Cameron agreed. Now she was doing things against her own will.

She wanted Kathryn and David to be there, and the rest of her family. She didn't want to be alone, that would be too scary. So the room was full when the nurse gave her the baby. He screamed when he was taken from the nurse's warm body, but calmed down again when he was put in Cameron's arms. He looked up at her, blue curious eyes looked at her, and she kissed his forehead. Then she looked up at David and Kathryn.

"What are you going to name him?" she asked, wanting to know the name he was going to live by in his life.

"Well we thought since my father and your father's name is Christopher we should name him that..." David explained. "And we also want him to have something from his biological family so his name will be Christopher Cameron..." Cameron's dad put a hand over his heart and smiled.

"Okay." Cameron said just above a whisper, and looked down at the baby in her arms again.

"Have a good life Christopher." She spoke softly. Danny took out a camera without Cameron knowing and looked over to Kathryn and David for permission. They nodded, and he took a photo of the two. Cameron was too wrapped up in Christopher to even notice.

----------------------------------

Cameron ran after her niece who was refusing to come in after playing in the leaves that had showed up after the snow had melted away. Cameron felt like this was a lost case, her niece was much better running in the slippery leaves. Plus the fact that Cameron hadn't been out running for months. She finally caught her niece in her grip, and put her on her hip. Andrea giggled, and nuzzled her head in her shoulder.

"You thought you could get away from me, didn't you?" Cameron asked while smiling. Andrea giggled again, and they made their way into the house.

Inside the house her father was sleeping in his chair, and her mother was watching a home video they made last year. Her father looked so peaceful in his chair, so Cameron made sure that Andrea stayed quiet as she watched the video, and she put her cell phone on silent in case Danny or Trevor would call. They were out with Maya and the twins to Trevor's parents'. But Andrea couldn't come because she had a cold, which by a miracle went away with a good night's sleep.

Her father woke up after a while, and looked tiredly over the room. Cameron walked up to him, and told him to go and rest upstairs. He refused, claiming that he didn't stop with his meds. just to stay in bed anyway. Cameron agreed, she wanted him down here too, so she could keep an eye on him.

"Andrea, what do you want for desert?" Cameron's mother asked, and Andrea made her

"Thinking face", before she broke into a grin.

"Ice cream!" her mother laughed and agreed, ice cream it was.

They made dinner laughing and joking. No one mentioning about her father's illness that could make any minute the last, didn't mention Christopher, all that existed was the family in the past that had been. They told stories about when Andrea was younger, when Cameron's mother was young and when Cameron was little.

Cameron walked out to her father to tell him that dinner was ready and found him awake.

"Hi... dinner's ready." She said and smoothed her shirt out where a bump was still existent.

"I'm not hungry." He said, smiling. "You eat, I'll tag along later." Cameron walked up to him and kissed his forehead.

"Okay… I love you." She said and started to walk back into the kitchen.

"I love you too. I love all of you!" He yelled back, and he soon heard laughs from the kitchen.

Andrea sat during dinner telling stories about her best friend and a boy at her day care, and things her sister and brothers done.

"Ice cream!" Andrea shouted and ran for the fridge, trying to open it by herself. Cameron laughed and stood up to help her.

After dessert she walked into the living room and saw that her dad was sleeping again.

"Hey dad, wake up." She shook her dad, and smiled when he still didn't wake up.

"Hey it's time for you to wake up, you can sleep upstairs. It's too late to be sleeping down here." She whispered into his ear softly.

"Dad?" She shook him more roughly this time, and her face fell when she realized something. Two fingers went to his neck, and tears started to fall from her eyes when she didn't feel his pulse.

-------------

Everyone was in black clothes, the grey sky hovered above them, and it suited their mood. Lifeless and Grey. The priest started preaching, and told stories he was told to tell. Then one about a god that none of the people who were there believed in. The coffin had flowers on them, and next to it stood a big picture of her dad- Christopher Cameron, 70 years old.

Cameron arms ached to hug him again. She watched her mother who was staring off into space, and she wondered if she heard what the priest said. It was all quiet. No one was crying hard and everyone was staring into space in shock. They've all knew this was coming, but when it came it really hit them that the time spent with their father was gone.

Soon the funeral was over, and everyone came over to Cameron's moms place.

"Hello Allison!" a voice said behind her, and she turned around to see a woman with grey curly hair, big brown eyes, and a half happy smile. "Good to see you... well not under these circumstances..." the woman nodded.

"Yeah... but I'm sorry... you are?" she asked, feeling slightly rude that she didn't know the woman's name. The woman laughed.

"Oh I'm Mrs. Davis... your old neighbour." The woman explained.

"Oh, right I forgot... sorry" She excused herself.

"Oh it's all right!" She shrugged it off, and looked at Cameron more closely. "Oh how lovely you look! Not just skin and bones like you used to!" Cameron knew the lady meant well, but her mouth went to a thin line, and she turned around to leave.

She walked out the house to out front and sat on the bench that stood at the left of the door, and leaned back against the wall, closing her eyes.

She zoned out, blocked out everything, just played every memory she could think of that had happened during the last year. Just when she got to the memory where her father held Christopher for the first and the last time, something made her snap out of it. She opened her eyes to see a limping man make his way up the stairs.

"Well, well, aren't you looking very black there Cameron." Cameron glared at him, and House backed off, holding his hands up.

"My father died last week." She told him blankly. "And a lady just called me fat." She knew the lady hadn't told her that, but it was the way she took it.

"Are we talking about the same person here?" he said and sat down next to her, rubbing his leg. Cameron expected him to pop a vicodin, but he didn't.

"I've gained weight." Cameron said and pouted her lips. House arched an eyebrow. "I'm serious!"

"You've been very serious these past months." Cameron glared at him, and this was when he saw her bloodshot eyes, and she took a deep breath.

"Someone ought to be." she answered, and looked past him to see if there was anyone else outside too.

"So, are you coming back soon?" House asked, he really wanted her back.

1. "No... I'm going to have my year off, during these months I have left I'll take care of mom and my sister and so on..." Her arms crossed over her chest, and House saw that she had indeed gained weight

"And they aren't capable of doing it themselves?" Cameron wouldn't look at him.

"You weren't invited here, so I suggest you leave as soon as you can." Cameron stated monotony. He stared at her inquisitively, and all she could see was her son's eyes. Tears started to fall down her face, and she rushed past a confused House.

"I'll see you in 5 months." and she rushed inside and up the stairs.

He stood there, looking after her, waiting for an unkown reason until a tall, red headed woman in Cameron's age that looked, in some strange way like Cameron.

"You must be House?" The woman stated and asked at the same time. He nodded. "I'm Daniella... we met when you came out here last time..." she explained.

"This is the third time actually... I came by 3 weeks ago, but the neighbour told me you were at the hospital." Danny looked away and nodded. House took it as it was something that had happened with her father, but that answer was way too easy.

"Yeah... that time." Danny took a deep breathe. "Bu uh... is there something you want me to tell Ally?" House thought it sounded strange, that Ally and Cameron was the same person.

"Tell her we want her back as soon as possible."

"You should be glad that she comes back in 5 months... she's a wreck right now." House nodded. "But I'll guess she'll bounce back up like she's always done." Danny smiled sadly at him.

"A wreck? She just sounded upset because her_ father _just died, and that someone basically called her _fat_." House exclaimed confused, this family was way too strange for his taste.

"There is more to it then that." This woke up the rest of House's curiosity.

"And what can that be?" He could not even begin to guess what it could be.

"Ally warned me about you." Danny said with a smile, and shook her head. "You'll have to ask her yourself if you want to know anything." Danny bit her lip.

"Mommy!" Maya screamed as she ran out of the door with Andrea in tow. "Daddy wants to talk to you!" She laughed as Danny picked her up, and Danny turned to House.

"I suggest you wait these 5 months to see her... she really needs time." House's eyes narrowed as she said this, and watched as she walked back in, apparently there was no arguing.

----------

After all the guests had gone, Danny took her mother to bed and stayed with her until she fell asleep. Her family was a wreck and it was just hanging by a thread. She then walked into her sister's room. Trevor was watching the children so she had time to spare. And there sat Cameron, pushed up against the wall in her room, knees drawn up to her chin. She looked up when Danny walked in, tears in her eyes. Danny walked up to her sister and together they sat, holding each other, crying. Never before had Danny felt so broken. She couldn't begin to think of what Cameron had gone through. She had to be strong for them.

"I-I made a mistake Danny." Cameron whispered between her sobs, eyes wide, and a hand flew to her mouth. Her sister didn't wait a second to hug her again. Danny wondered if her sister would ever forgive herself for what she'd done, if she could forget about the pain. She wondered if this would be the time she would break.

* * *

AN: So now I have a beta :D and it's great (but I have to use my old computer to send the chapters because Vista is just stupid...) it's ChibiEd as you can see up there.  
I have this minor problem that makes is really hard for me to write.. I get creative around 10am-1pm, and then I have writersblock until 2am... so at 2am everything comes to me... but when I wake up.. it's gone... I'm in the wrong timezone..  
And it'll be almost three weeks before I can update again :(


	7. Chapter 6

_Chapter 6_

Her apartment was on the other side of the door, behind that wooden door, cleaned, different, but yet the same.

Her key slid into the lock, the sound of it felt so bold, so _real_. She was on her own again, alone in her apartment. But it wouldn't be like that long; she promised herself that it wouldn't just be work. She would go out with her friends here, meet guys, and just simply date again. That would be her goal for the rest of the year.

She stepped into her apartment, looking it over, and put her keys away while smiling sadly. She was back. She didn't want to be back.

She ran a hand through her hair. She couldn't believe it had been a year. A year ago she could've still kept him, now... now he was 5, soon 6 months old, living some where in Chicago with two parents who loved him. She wondered what he was doing now.

She had gotten a picture of him last month. He was staring up into the camera with big blue eyes and he had her brown hair. They had put a letter along with it, thanking her for the gift of being a parent. There had been a few other pictures that they'd taken during these last months, all back to where they first left the hospital. The letter told her that they have one of the two pictures of her holding Christopher, if he wants to know about his biological mother when he is older. She doesn't know if she wants to meet him again. He would probably be furious with her, for giving him up, and House... maybe he would know... but who said she was going to be working for him then?

She walked into her apartment, leaving her suitcase by the door, and walked over to her answering machine that flashed the number 3: 3 new messages. She sat down next to the machine and listened to it. First it was Danny who asked her to call her when she got in, just to tell her how the flight went. Then it was her mom saying basically the same thing. The third was at first silent. Then a husky voice that belonged to House told her that she should get back to work as soon as she could because she didn't deserve more vacation.

She laughed, she was going back to work again! It was funny she thought, maybe she had forgotten everything, and she needed to go through med school again, ha!

But suddenly, the laugh turned into choked tears, how could she go back to work after what she'd done? If House would find out what she'd done he would be beyond mad at her, thinking she betrayed him, lied about something so important.

And for the millionth time that day, she wondered why she lied to him. Why she was so selfish and ran away.

-----------------

She sighed when she pulled into the parking lot outside PPTH, looking up at the building, feeling the comforting feeling that some things stay the same. And she pulled into an empty parking space, looking at the picture she'd gotten last month one last time before she hid it in her car. But she didn't step out. She sat there, hands on the wheel, just like she had done the day she had left, sitting at the airport. Only that time she was leaving, not coming back. She wondered why she didn't pulled out of the parking lot that day, and why she didn't run or call to Cuddy's office to tell her she was just joking, told House she'd lied because she was scared.

But it was all too late now.

She looked up at the hospital again. She wanted to go inside and go back to the life she had a year ago, but she didn't feel ready to let go of this past year. But someone else made the decision for her.

Someone tapped at her window, and she turned around to see brown eyes, and a wide smile. She jumped in surprise and opened the door.

"Welcome back Dr. Cameron." Wilson said, with a smile, a genuine smile. She tried to smile one as well.

"It feels good to be back." she lied, and pulled her hair behind her ear.

"Scary?" he asked, and Cameron looked at him in confusion.

"What?" she bit her lip.

"You where hiding in your car..." he explained.

"No, eh... I was just... yeah a bit scared." she admitted "I haven't been a "doctor" in a year so... I might screw up." She said.

"Ah... it's like riding a bike." he said with a wink, and she laughed. She reached for her bag, and caught a glimpse of the photo. She put it upside down, so she wouldn't stare at it for too long, and then she backed out of the car, and closed the door.

"You didn't check my ass out?" She asked as she hung her bag over her shoulder, and started to walk.

"Uh-no." He assured her, and looked at her in somewhat surprise.

"So it's no good to look at?" She looked back at him.

"Well it is... no... yes... "He sighed and looked at her, she was smiling." You're just messing with me right?" He asked, and she nodded.

"Of course." She said, and they walked into the hospital. "I just saw the opportunity... and I just couldn't resist." She said with a wink, and stepped inside the elevator with him.

"This year hasn't been good for you... where is the sweet little Cameron?" If Wilson didn't know better he would've thought this comment didn't affect Cameron the slightest, but for a second he thought he saw pain in her eyes before it turned back to a happy glimmer.

"Oh, she's gone all right." she raised up both eyebrows "I've got big plans for the rest of this year." and with that the elevator stopped at their floor.

"You better hurry up then, it's only 4 months left of the year." He warned.

"I got all the time I want." she smiled, and tilted her head to look over the place. Something had changed, and Wilson must've read her mind at that point.

"There was a small fire at Christmas... no one got hurt, we only needed to redecorate, and exchange a few things."

"Why didn't anyone tell me?" she asked, how could she have missed this.

"You weren't exactly answering your phone every time we called." Wilson replied. Cameron's mouth opened in realization, but then closed it in guilt.

"Sorry... I was... uh busy." she said, biting her lip.

"Has anyone told you that you are a bad liar?" he asked.

"Millions of times, but has it ever occurred to you that I may be too good of a liar." she winked, and her eyes spotted the conference room. She stopped dead in her tracks to regain her breathing. She could do this.

"Wh- Cameron are you all right?" she looked at him and saw the concern in his eyes.

"Yeah... it's just... strange to be back." she shrugged and began walking again. "I guess I'll see you later?"

"Yep." he waved, and hurried off.

She walked inside the conference room to see that she was not the first one there. In fact, she was the last person there. That was strange.

"Did I get the wrong time?" she asked, and the men in the room turned around in surprise.

"Cameron!" They both said in unison like she had just saved their lives. "You're back!?" Chase asked in surprise, and Cameron furrowed her eyebrows in surprise.

"You didn't know?" she asked, and glanced sideways to where House was sitting, stubbornly not looking at her and twirling his cane.

"House told us you were coming back when you felt like you wanted to?" Chase said confused.

"I took a year off... _one_ year." she said, confused.

"Well... that was way too long... it felt like ten..." Foreman said, and he too glanced over at House.

"So House has been bugging' you?" she asked, and walked further into the room, throwing her jacket over a chair, looking at House for an answer with her hands on her hips.

There was no answer. Silence. She furrowed her eyebrows again.

"Why is it so quiet?" she asked, getting really confused.

"House is angry." Chase said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Why?" she asked, sitting down on a chair, she looked from House to Foreman and Chase, Foreman shrugged.

"Don't know... he's been like this the past few days." Cameron raised an eyebrow and looked at House. She walked up to House, and stopped his cane, forcing him to look at her.

"Hi." She said to him. He tilted his head and looked at her, up and down.

"You've lost weight." He stated, and Chase and Foreman looked confused.

"My dad stopped coming with unhealthy requests." She answered back, narrowing her eyes, he was up to something.

"So you've not gotten some of that bulimia or anorexia?" House retorted. Cameron glared at him.

"No." She answered rather harshly.

"Good, wouldn't want my doctors setting a bad example." He said.

"What about you then? And we're not _your _doctors." Her mouth went into a thin line, and Chase and Foreman wondered what happened to Cameron's happy mood.

"Well, well isn't Cameron cranky today." House said while he started twirling his cane again. She shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"Do we have a case?" House shook his head, and Cameron groaned.

"What are we supposed to do then?" she asked.

"I dunno, you could start doing my e-mail... Chase has been doing it this year but... he simply isn't you." He stopped twirling his cane in midair and looked at Cameron.

"I'm _not _doing your e-mail, you're capable doing it yourself." she said, and sat down in a chair.

"I'm a cripple" he argued.

"I see nothing wrong with your arms." she threw her hands up slightly, and then smiled a victory smile.

"Have you hit your head on something? Or have you been acting all these years?"

"Wouldn't you like to know." She looked over to Foreman and Chase whose mouths were open. "You really should close your mouths... that goldfish look doesn't suit you." They quickly closed their mouths, but opened them again when they realized that it was Cameron who said it. "House, you say it, maybe they'll listen to you."

"Close your mouths!" House demanded, and they did, Chase blushed slightly, and Foreman just shook his head.

---------------------------------------

"Is it just me, or whenever House comes into the room Cameron gets all... bitchy?" Foreman asked Chase when they walked down the hallway on yet another mission from House.

"Nope, I've seen it too..." Chase furrowed his eyebrows "I mean it's like she's... I dunno... guarded around him." He shrugged.

"Cameron guarded? She's always been like that... only before in a different way." Foreman replied. They stopped to look inside a window.

"You know, it isn't nice to talk behind people's back." They turned around quickly to see Cameron standing there with her hands on her hips. "If you want to know so badly, why don't you ask?" She challenged them.

"Okay... why are you so, eh... bitchy around House?" Chase asked openly. Cameron laughed.

"Figure that one out and you'll be rich." She smiled and continued walking down the hallway.

"You said we should ask!" Chase yelled after her.

"I didn't say I would answer!" She yelled back and rounded a corner.

----------------------------------

House didn't like this new Cameron. She was so good with these comments, but none of them really hurt, they were just so... quick, calculated and actually funny. But it just wasn't Cameron.

When he visited her parents' house months ago she was fragile, not expecting him. He had stood there, watching her for minutes, as tears streamed down her face, shoulders slumped, as she slowly shook her head. She was muttering words he couldn't hear, and suddenly she had opened her eyes as if she'd woken up from a nightmare, and she'd looked at him. She'd tried to avoid his gaze as much as possible, and when she by accident looked at him, tears had started to fall again just by looking at him. And she'd rushed inside.

Her sister's words: "she's a wreck", got him curious, but he didn't know why he didn't look into it more. Maybe he was scared of what he'd find out. So he had just let it go, for the first time he let a puzzle go. Well for now anyway.

He looked out of his office and into the conference room to see Cameron packing up to leave work; her first week back was over. And it was strange how they'd gone back to normal, or the new normal. It was like she'd never been gone.

But he saw now, when she thought she was alone and no one was looking, that she looked tired, her shoulders slumped, she picked something up from her bag, a photo it looked like. Her eyes looked soft but hard at the same time. He watched as a finger traced a line or something over the paper, and she closed her eyes and roughly put it back into the bag. Quickly put it over her shoulder, and turned around and saw him looking at her.

She looked like a dear caught in the headlights, and then she ran off like one.

He was confused.

----------------------------

It was hard, keeping secrets. She'd kept them before, she had lied to her mother, father and sister millions of time when she was a teenager, and again when she was in her twenties. It was easier that way, telling the truth had never been her strong suit. That was why she hated telling the loved ones about their loved ones, sure it was hard to see the look on their faces, all hope drained, or the sad hope they still had left the small thread of hope. And then tell the truth, the hard bold truth.

She wished she could be that brave other times.

She could tell House about her feeling before. She could've told the whole hospital then. But telling House she was pregnant, that was a hard thing for her. That was putting herself so far out on the line as possible.

She would've been judged, just like she was in high school for loosing her virginity too soon. She made a mistake then, and everything went wrong, she wanted to forget every thing (story of her life), and this girl had invited her to a party as an apology for ruining her shirt. She wanted to have new friends after loosing her two best friends to death, and she went, she drank some alcohol, and a guy hit on her. He told her he wasn't from around, and wanted to know some things about the place, and she bought it, and they ended up in a room alone. And he kissed her. She was so happy that someone wanted to be with her, and she thought he would be her boyfriend, and he'd told her that he would be careful, the next day when she woke up in that bed. She was all alone, not even a note from him. She had cried on her way home.

She often wrote letters to House in her diary, telling him what she'd done, and how much she regretted it. But she knew she would never tell him, or send him any of the letters she had written. And at the end of each page where she'd written a letter she always wrote that this letter would never be seen by anyone but her.

And that day was no different.

_Christopher i__s beautiful. He's got your eyes. I wish he was around so I could stare into them, get lost, but I gave him up. I guess that I have no right to then. I stood in the conference room looking at the photo they'd sent me. I didn't realize that you were still there, but when I turned around and saw you, I almost rushed in and showed you the photo, the most beautiful photo in the world. I want you to see it, but I will not let you, not now, not later, not ever. But when I saw you there, I've never looked at the photo and then at you, you look so much like him, your nose, he has it, and all those things that you can't put a finger on what it is. Maybe it is in the eyes, the eyes that tell everyone that you can see them, look right trough them, but you can't, is that a good thing? _

_It's hard to see you everyday, to be reminded of the fact that I've given birth to your child, and hate myself for not giving you the chance to be a f__ather, for not even telling you. I'm a terrible person. I should've told you the truth that day you called me. I should have stayed, not run away like a scared kid! But maybe we're all just small children inside, and maybe there are too many maybes. Yes too many maybes, and I'm scared the maybes are going to kill me. Maybe it's them who are killing you too, because I can see it in your eyes, the pain I'm feeling. maybe you can see it in mine. _

She cried when she wrote it, just like she had done the day before. Her diary wasn't a place for thoughts, or how the day had gone, it was filled with letters, and it would continue like that till the day she told him, if she would.

* * *

So! Here it is! Finally (famillies takes a lot of time). A month later. This month has been so... full with things (like my best friend is maybe pregnant :S) But anyway... I'll maybe update chapter 7 tonight, and change the previous chapter to ones that have been looked throught by this story's beta ChibiEd. Hope you liked it, and (pretty) please(!) review!:D 


	8. Chapter 7

_Chapter 7_

Cuddy walked up the hallway with a two year old on her hip. Her son was crying, and she bounced him up and down in hope that he would stop crying sometime, she was starting to get a headache. Cameron watched Cuddy as she bounced him up and down, walking and talking to him at the same time, sometimes she looked down at a file she was holding in her hands, and Cameron wanted Cuddy's hectic life. She wanted to have her own screaming son in her arms, bouncing him up and down trying to make him stop screaming, but she would never get that, not anytime soon anyway.

Cameron walked up to Cuddy, and Cuddy smiled at her, and shook her head. Cuddy was stressed and she could see it.

"Joseph... please stop crying, your mommy needs to get back to work." Cuddy pleaded to her son, and looked at Cameron.

"I can take care of him for a while if you need to?" she offered, and Cuddy looked up at her like she was her savior.

"Can you do that while I go to my meeting... the daycare is closed because of that bacteria they found there..." Cameron nodded and smiled, she would love to take care of a child. She had longed to hold a child for eight months, any child. Cuddy quickly put Joseph in Cameron's arms, and he stopped crying almost as soon as he was put there. Cuddy looked at her amazed.

"They sense their mother's stress." she explained. She knew that Cuddy knew that, but there was something in Cuddy's face that told her she only bought it half way.

"Okay..." she said and sighed. "I will be out of my meeting by... lunch if it goes well." Cuddy bit her lip and nodded, Cameron did too.

"Okay." Cuddy kissed her son's forehead and said goodbye. "Say goodbye to your mommy." Cameron whispered in his ear, and Joseph waved to his mommy, and said goodbye before turning to Cameron again and giggled. "Do you want to meet someone funny?" Cameron asked, and Joseph nodded, Cameron just knew that children would love House. He was "goofy".

--

"What the hell is the devil's spawn doing here?" House exclaimed when she walked in with Joseph on her hip.

"I'm watching him." Cameron shrugged, and played with Joseph's hands a little, while his eyes scanned the room.

"Isn't there a place in this hospital called daycare?" House asked annoyed. Cameron rolled her eyes.

"Well you of all people should know that it has been shut down for now." she glared at him, and sat down in a chair, and put Joseph on the floor so that he could walk around. House only looked at her, and then at Joseph.

"You just got Cuddy _another _reason to get up here and harass us." House shook his head.

"She's in a meeting until lunch." she told him matter of factually.

"Yeah right, that's what she told you." he rolled his eyes and once again shook his head. Cameron ignored him and turned her attention to Joseph who had found a pen on the floor, and was playing with it.

"Hey you, what have you got there?" she asked, and bended over in her chair, and Joseph looked up at her and smiled.

"Ah pen." he held up the pen with a red lid, and smiled a wide smile that reminded her of Cuddy. She bit her lip when she wondered who Christopher's smile would resemblance.

"Do you want to draw?" she asked, and waited for Joseph's response.

"Yah!" he squealed, and laughed. Cameron shook her head as she laughed, and went to get paper. When she first met Cuddy she thought she had it all: husband and 2.5 children, but after a while she thought that Cuddy would never be a mother. There was something about her, but when they got the news that she was pregnant, Cameron couldn't think of a person who deserved it more then her. She was happy for her. She wished she was happy for herself when she got pregnant. When she turned around she saw that Joseph and House was in a staring match, they simply stared at each other. House looked rather scary but Joseph looked brave. She guessed it came from Cuddy. She laughed at them, and walked over to Joseph to give him the paper.

"We got a case!" Chase announced when he walked into the conference room with Foreman in tow.

"What makes you think that I will take the case, even look at it?" House asked, his eyes shifting between the child and Chase, something Chase didn't notice. Chase started to walk up to House to hand him the file, but tripped over Joseph, and fell to the ground.

"What the-" he stopped when he turned to see the small child sitting on the ground on the verge of tears.

"Chase!" Cameron exclaimed, and rushed up to Joseph. "Shh…" she hushed Joseph as she bounced him on the hip as Cuddy had done only 20 minutes prior.

"How was I supposed to know that there was a baby sitting on the ground?" he asked and shook his head as he sat down on a chair. "And why is there a child here?" he asked unsure.

"Don't you see it's Joseph?" Foreman said and looked wickedly happy, and walked up to him and Cameron, and opened his arms to hold Joseph.

"Are you going to steal the kid now?" House asked and shook his head. "Breaking into people's houses I can handle, but stealing babies..." he shook his head again, and did the same motion with his index finger.

"Ha. Ha. ha." Foreman mocked. "I love kids, my girlfriend and I actually have an eight month old boy too." Everyone in the room looked at him and raised their eyebrows.

"I don't believe you." Chase said, and laughed it off.

"Leaving the poor girl up all night..." House said and grinned.

"Seems like everyone is getting boys…" Cameron said, and Foreman looked at her strangely, ignoring the rest of them who said nonsense.

"Me, Cuddy... everyone else is getting boys." Foreman shrugged and Cameron had to bit her lip to not spill out that she too got a boy.

"I would like to meet him, what's his name?" Cameron said, ignoring the faces House made behind her back, at least they made Joseph laugh.

"John." Foreman answered proudly. "But I don't know about taking him here." he glared at House.

"Okay." Cameron answered knowingly "But I didn't know you had a girlfriend..."

"We've been together for two and half years now." he said, and looked at Joseph again who was pointing at House who was making a disgusted face.

"Cameron!" House suddenly yelled. "Quit the small talk, we've got a case." he pointed to the file that Chase was still holding.

"Well read it then..." Cameron answered.

"I don't want to touch something Chase has touched." he winced, and both Cameron and Foreman rolled their eyes.

"Fine." Cameron snapped, and quickly took the file from Chase, and shook her head, muttering something that no one could hear, and then said the symptoms out loud when she read them. House instantly came up with a disease only half way through, but Cameron stubbornly continued with the list of symptoms.

"Chase go with Foreman to do a MRI, I promise that there will be toys there you can play with." he pouted, and looked at them, and they stood still. "What are you waiting for? Go!" Chase shrugged and followed Foreman out of the door. And Cameron stood with her hands on her hips, waiting to be given a task.

"Why am I still here?" she asked after a long silence.

"I was hoping you could tell me." House said and limped into his office, Cameron came shortly after him.

"What do you mean with that?" she asked, now standing in front of his desk.

"Well you've been acting really strange for the three months you've been back... and that I mean more strange then a year ago." he said and started to twirl his cane. "Not to mention that you're hiding something from Me." he said as he stopped twirling his cane and looked at her.

"No I'm not." she said without flinching or blinking, he was testing her, and if he was not, what would one more lie do?

"Yes you are. You're not a bitch around everyone else... If you don't stop soon I'm going to tell Cuddy." he pouted.

"I'm not a- Fine what do you want?" she asked.

"I want to know how you have forgotten about... that night." he almost looked shy when he said it.

"What makes you think I have?" she challenged him, hands still on her hips, and she narrowed her eyes slightly. And he smiled.

"Good." he tilted his head and gave her a slightly smug smile, but there was something real in it. "So I was wondering...would you... want to go to... dinner, like a date"

"No." she said as soon as he finished. No doubt in her voice.

"Why not? A year ago you had this major crush on me and you probably still have-" he was cut of by her.

"A year ago I did not have a crush on you, maybe... 2-3 years ago, but you pushed me away, do you think anyone can handle that many rejects?" she asked him.

"You slept with me." he said lamely, and Cameron wondered for a second where House was.

"Wrong, we slept with each other, you could've easily ended that kiss." she shook her head.

"So could you have done." House stared at her.

"I was drunk, House... no wait I was wasted, my judgment was a little..." she shook her head because she was too angry to come up with the right word, so instead she gave a big dramatic sigh, and quickly stormed out of his office.

If only he could've gone after her one year ago. Maybe just before she found out she was pregnant, maybe sooner, then they would've had a son, a beautiful son with his blue eyes and her brown hair, but she gave him up to strangers to never see him again. If he doesn't show up in 18 years pissed off at her and everyone, _oh god, _she hadn't thought of that before, what if she still works here, and House is there too and he shows up at work... _no, damn. _

She rounded the corner deep in thought, biting her lip when she suddenly stopped and was on the ground. It took a few seconds for her to realize this, and she started to laugh silently.

"Oh sorry, are you okay?" A man's voice said above her, and she looked up and smiled.

"Yeah I'm fine..." she shook her head and tasted blood in her mouth, she stopped in fear for a second before she realized that she had bit her lip, and reached a hand up to touch where it hurt slightly. "Just bit my lip." she started to stand up, and saw that the man was in her age, maybe 30-34, brown hair, brown eyes, and handsome. She blushed slightly when he reached forwards to touch her lip.

"Sorry." he said again, and pulled his hand away, and looked at her more closely. "So you're a doctor?" he asked, with a goofy grin, and she just had to smile back.

"The ID tells me that so... yeah." she tried to joke.

"Oh... and the lab coat." he pointed out, and she noticed that he was blushing. "So what can I do to make up for that... cut in the lip?" he asked as he turned more serious.

"Oh it's nothing." she shook her head.

"Let me take you to dinner." her eyes grew wide, and her mouth fell.

"I don't even know your name." she said, and he sighed and smiled.

"Tobias Carlson, lived in the US all my life, my father is from Sweden, my mother is from Mexico, I'm 33 years old, male of course... eh I've got 5 siblings, is currently living here in New Jersey." he smiled as he finished. "Your turn."

"Allison Cameron" she sighed and thought. "All American, 32 years old... got one sister, and I too am living in New Jersey." she bit her lip as she smiled and winced slightly when she bit into her cut.

"Good, now, will you go to dinner with me?" Cameron laughed at his bluntness, and nodded.

"Sure." he quickly reached for a pen and paper in his jeans pocket, and showed them to her with a smile. He put the paper against the wall so he could write on it, and then handed it to her. Then he handed her the pen and got another piece of paper from his other pocket. "Do you get peoples number often?" she asked, and laughed as he searched for an empty piece of paper.

"No these are... notes, I take notes often." he smiled quickly. "Under your number it will stand... beautiful green eyes." she laughed again, this man, Tobias, was great.

"Oh, it will?" she raised her eyebrows and smiled, and the handed him the piece of paper where her phone number stood.

"Yes, and I will call you tonight." he smiled and walked away. When he had rounded the corner Cameron shook her head just to make sure it was for real, and then she realized something.

"Shit!" she yelled and quickly ran back to the conference room. When she opened the door a child laugh was the first thing she heard, and looked over to see House sitting in front of Joseph, making faces, and Joseph laughed harder and harder every time he changed face expression.

"This kid is killing me." he said from where he was sitting, and changed face expression again.

"Why are you still doing it then?" she walked towards the coffee cup she had left before on the table, still upset with him, but the Tobias guy took most of it away.

"Because it's my boss' kid." he answered.

"Since when have that stopped you before?" she didn't get an answer that time, but she picked Joseph up, and he whined a little, but when she said they were going to get food, he squealed, and clapped his hands.

"Pancakes!" he yelled.

"We'll see if they have pancakes for lunch later, but now we can get you a sandwich?" Joseph pouted.

"K..."

---------------

Cameron got back home at eight. They had solved the case soon after lunch, leaving Cuddy happy and pleased, and gave them a day off clinic duty. Not that Cameron really minded, but the pleased look on House face was funny, so it was worth it, but House had made a few comments that she was high and wasn't in her right mind.

She walked up to the answering machine and saw that she had two new messages, the first was from Danny, asking her if she was coming up for thanksgiving, and telling her about something Maya had done. The second was from Tobias, telling her that he would call back later. And she smiled to her self, this was too good to be true!

* * *

Chapter seven! I'm hoping that the rest of the chapters will be looked through soon and sent to me because when school starts next week it's going to get harder to go online because... I have to work my hardest to get high grades because it's my last chance to get high grades before I have to apply for a high school/college type of school so... I'll try  
Review please and I'll send you a... a... an other chapter soon!:D (that's the only thing I can promise you) 


	9. Chapter 8

_Chapter 8_

It was a normal day. No actually it wasn't, but she didn't care. She was going to make it as normal as possible. She walked up to the coffeepot as soon as she arrived into the conference room. She had been back for so long she had almost forgot how it was back at her mother's house, and she was afraid to return there, afraid of all the memory's that would resurface when she got there. That was why she was at the hospital, and not at home celebrating thanksgiving.

She turned when she heard the door open, and in the door way stood House, leaning on his cane heavily; he looked tired. She wanted to ask what was bothering him, but he would only turn it to a question about her that she probably wouldn't be able to answer.

"Good morning." she said as happily as she could, she was also tired. She couldn't sleep. She could only think of thanksgiving the year before, when she stayed up all night with her dad talking, telling jokes, and when the morning finally came, they slept till dinner, just like they always did. An unusual tradition that Danny would join in on when she lived at home, she couldn't do that any more, she couldn't see her father any more.

"Good..." he muttered, and walked up to her, and held his hand out for the coffee cup.

"Soon." she said, and he dropped his hand, groaned as he ran a hand through his hair, and scratched his cheek, waiting. When he finally got his coffee, he sighed in content, and looked at her strangely before walking up to a chair to sit down.

"What are you doing here on thanksgiving?" he asked, taking another sip of his coffee.

"Someone ought to work." she shrugged, and House arched an eyebrow, not believing a word she said.

"Truth please." Now it was her turn to arch her eyebrows. "C'mon!" he exclaimed, staring at her, before shaking his head.

"Everybody lies." he grumbled under his breath and smirked, and she rolled her eyes.

"And maybe they don't lie all the time." she said, but that was a lie too, well for her. She lied almost every day now. It seemed as they got more curious about where she'd been for a year as the time went by, so long the whole 'helping her dad and mom' still worked, cause that was what she was doing too. It was good that she made the person that had access to her file promise that he/she wouldn't give House her file (there was some money in the picture too).

"You expect me to believe that?" he shook his head and looked at the clock.

"Where are Chase and Foreman?" He asked changing the subject right away.

"Chase is stuck in traffic and Foreman has the day off celebrating thanksgiving." she explained, and looked out of the window, down the hallway expecting Chase to come any minute.

"How do you know all this?" House asked. He almost envied her for knowing all that, well almost.

"Foreman has talked about it for days, saying it's his son's first thanksgiving, it's probably big in his family and Chase called 5 minutes ago." She replied.

"And I thought you had this sixth sense... bummer." he shook his head. A cell phone sounded suddenly, interrupting House from saying anything more, and Cameron hurried to get her cell phone from her jacket that was thrown over the chair, having a difficult time finding it since she looked in the wrong pocket. But when she got it up she read it with a smile.

_Though__t I could give you an untraditional thanksgiving dinner tonight? What do you think? – Tobias_

She quickly pressed to response to it, feeling like a school girl again. It took time for her to type the answer since she was in such hurry to answer that she pressed the wrong button time after time. She laughed in relief when she finally sent it, and looked up to see both Chase and House looking at her. House looked amused and Chase looked bothered.

"So how's the lover boy?" House asked, smirking.

"His name is Tobias, and he is fine." she said, and sat down, cell phone in front of her.

"So in which way is he damaged? Incompetent?" House asked smiling devilishly. Cameron glared at him.

"He's not _damaged _he's actually _nice, friendly, caring_ and most of all not_ you_." Cameron spat at him. Chase looked at her shocked.

"Wow, Cameron's going back to her old ways?" House said, meaning earlier that year when she got back from Chicago.

"No, just a better version of it." Cameron smiled, and left the room as quickly as she could, without looking to desperate to get away.

"Is it just me or is she... weird?" House asked Chase and he nodded.

"She's weird alright." Chase said as he looked at door where she left.

-------

House was sitting in is office, playing on his PSP, but there was something outside his office that had made him lose this game 5 times in a row, and he was getting annoyed by it. It was a woman he recognized but couldn't place. He knew he'd met her once or twice, but after searching his memory he still couldn't figure out who the woman was, and she looked like she was about to knock on his door- and she did. He tried to ignore her, but she wouldn't give up, she was like a small child, after a minute he couldn't stand the knocking anymore and went to open the door. The woman smiled a victorious smile.

"I'm looking for All-Dr. Cameron." The woman smiled.

"Good, tell her to get here when you find her." he started to close the door, but the woman's foot was in the way.

"Can you tell me where to find her?" The woman smiled, slightly irritated by this man.

"I don't _know_ where she is, and _if_ I knew, _why _should I tell you?" he asked her, and she crossed her arms across her chest, and raised both her eyebrows in amusement

"Danny?" Cameron said behind the woman. "What are you doing here?" Cameron stepped up and hugged the woman.

"I thought if you didn't come to us, we would come to you." The woman shrugged.

"You didn't have to." Cameron half -smiled.

"Oh, right! David and Kathryn told me that they always got their letters back, and I told them you've changed address... so here's the two letters you haven't got." Danny handed her two white envelopes, and Cameron stared at them for a few seconds, before shaking her head.

"I'll take them later." she looked at House, and House wondered what was going on. "So where are the kids?" she changed the subject quickly.

"Oh they're with Trevor." Danny's smile grew big, and she looked at House who was looking at her strangely.

"Who _are _you?" House had cut in, tired of not knowing what's going on.

"I'm Daniella, Allison's twin sister, you've met me already, but not everyone remembers everyone." She replied.

"Oh right, you were the one who said Cameron here wasn't home when she was hiding in the closet!" House said with a triumphant smirk, and both of the women's mouths fell open.

"You saw me?" Cameron's eyes were big, and she was slightly out of breath.

"I saw your head." House said matter of factually. "You must have lost at hide and seek all the time when you were a child." at this Danny giggled, and Cameron glared at her.

"What? You did lose at it." Danny said it this time matter of factually.

"Shut up..." Cameron rolled her eyes, but couldn't help but smile.

"So what's in the letters you don't want me to see?" House jumped back in the conversation.

"Wh- nothing we're going to tell you." Cameron rolled her eyes again, and turned to her sister. "Let's go and eat lunch." her sister agreed, and they disappeared down the hallway again, (eaving a disgruntled House.

------

"He's beautiful." Cameron said out of breath. "It's unbelievable." Cameron switched between the two photos of the child with big blue eyes and thick brown hair.

"I can't believe he's eight months old already." Danny said while taking a bite of her sandwich.

"Do you know that my co-worker Foreman has an eight months old son?"

"You're kidding me? What's his name?" Danny asked, knowing Cameron tried to change subject.

"John." A male voice said behind them, and Cameron quickly put the photos upside down on the table, and looked up to see Foreman standing in front of them "I'm Dr. Eric Foreman, I'm Cameron's co-worker." he reached his hand out for Danny to shake it.

"I'm Daniella- Danny, Allison's sister." she smiled and shook Foreman's hand.

"I can see that" Foreman smiled.

"But... what are you doing here? I thought you had the day off." Cameron asked.

"House found out and called me in, saying it was an emergency, and then he wouldn't let me leave." Foreman annoyingly sighed.

"He's an ass." Cameron looked at Danny who looked like she was going to burst into laughter any second, but she bit her lip before she could. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, wouldn't you like to know." Danny said, and shook her head and then turned to Foreman. "So you're the only one of Allison's co-workers who hasn't slept with her?" Danny was fighting hard to keep a serious face when Foreman's mouth fell open. "Or is there something my sister hasn't told me."

"Danny!" Cameron hissed "Not here, not now... not ever." Cameron glared at her sister. "I hate you." she said, trying to look serious as well, but everyone saw through it.

"If I didn't know better I would tell you, you couldn't lie, but sadly, I do, it's just that you can't _hate _anyone." Danny ruffled Cameron's hair a little "But it's adorable when you try." Danny pouted, and earned a glare from Cameron.

"This is why I don't invite you here more often." she shook her head and saw that Foreman was getting curious of the photos lying upside down on the table, so she quickly put them down in her lab coat before then.

"Is mom with you?" she asked.

"No, she wanted to rest, it's the first holiday without dad..." Danny smiled sadly. "I remember last year when I found you two sleeping on the couch in the middle of the afternoon." she shook her head in amusement "Every year you've been home for thanksgiving you sleep until dinner."

"Hey, before you went and married that guy of yours you did the same thing!" Cameron defended.

"Well, I still outgrew that childish tradition." Danny replied, looking serious but Cameron knew.

"It was not childish!" Cameron said faking shocked. She turned back to her sandwich and ate it, and saw that Foreman looked at them, amused, trying not to laugh.

"You sound just like my two little sisters." Foreman said and smiled.

"You have little sisters?" Cameron asked. It was strange that she suddenly started to get to know everyone more then before, things she should've known a long time ago.

"Yes, twins... and I didn't know you had a sister." he said in his defense.

"I guess there is a lot we don't know about each other." Cameron replied sadly.

"Are you keeping secrets Allison?" Danny said in an attempt to lighten up the mood, but Cameron only looked down at her half eaten sandwich.

"I have to go." she quickly stood up, and hurried out of the cafeteria, Danny had no chance to catch up with her, so she stayed at the table with Foreman, and they both looked at each other for a minute or so before Danny spoke.

"She's..." she trailed of, not knowing what she could say, what she had told them "How has she been since she got back?" she chose to ask instead, just to know what she could talk about.

"She's been alright I guess, in the beginning she was... not herself, and around House she can sometimes be almost... bitchy." Foreman tried, he really hadn't paid much attention to it, and everyone doesn't stay the same.

"Okay." Danny said. "We talked a lot when she was home, but when she got back... I'm happy if she returns one out of ten calls." Danny laughed sadly. "She's got too many what ifs right now..."

"What ifs?" A male voice said behind them, and they both looked up to see House standing there, curious. And Danny turned to her food, and started to eat, ignoring the man that was her sister's boss, and so much more that he didn't even know about. "Do I have to repeat myself?" he asked somewhat sarcastic.

"No thank you." Danny replied and earned a smug smile from Foreman. "No need for that, I'm just ignoring the man that so rudely interrupted us, if you had just stayed away and eavesdropped on this conversation you would have known, but sadly, now you won't." House almost looked shocked to meet a family member of Cameron that was... rude, and frankly, funny.

"Now that was a comment from the Cameron family I never thought I'd hear." he shook his head in mock surprise.

"And I never thought a person from... No I never thought _you_ would be shocked by it." Danny replied.

"And you know me?" he asked as he sat down.

"No not really, but from what my sister briefly told me I did not expect it."

"Briefly?" he asked, not believing it at all.

"Yes." she said. "When my sister tells me something, I know what she isn't saying." Danny smiled. "A thing I picked up from when I was little and she _hardly_ told the truth." she raised both her eyebrows just to show off.

"Cameron? Lying? Now why would she do that." he asked, very interested in this conversation now.

"Be-" she stopped, looking at him, glared at him. "Why would you like to know?" she turned to Foreman and cut House off.

"So are you and your girlfriend planning on having more children in the future?" Both Foreman and House were shocked by this change in mood.

"Uh... we're not sure yet... probably." he answered, taken aback.

"They're lovely, but I don't recommend too many, I have four under the age of 6, it's hell at home." she chuckled as she shook her head, she glanced over to House who was looking irritated.

"You just don't leave a topic like that." he said.

"I did." Foreman couldn't believe how a forty year old man, and a thirty year old _mother _of four, were fighting like small children.

"That doesn't make it right." he replied.

"There are a lot of things that aren't right." she shrugged.

"One of those things is leaving a conversation." he waved wildly with his hands. He was loosing his touch in this.

"You sound like Allison." she smiled, and he opened his mouth.

"I do not sound like goody two shoes who can't hold a straight face or see a baby without crying." he defended himself.

"Cameron? Goody two shoes!?" she quickly put a hand over her mouth when she heard what she had said, and her eyes widened a bit. They both looked at her in surprise.

"You can't believe what a patient..." a man with an Australian accent approached the table, but stopped when he saw a woman looking a lot like Cameron, and that House and Foreman looked at her in shock. And mostly- House was quiet, and his mouth was open, hilarious was Chase's first thought, but then he wondered why he was shocked.

"What's going on?" he hated this, that he didn't know what was going on, sure he never really did most of the time.

"I think... I need to go." the woman who looked like Cameron said, and quickly stood up. "Nice to meet you." she nodded her head, and quickly strode out of the cafeteria, trying to find her sister.

"Who was _that?"_ Chase asked Foreman when he saw that House was on his way to leave.

"Uh that was... Cameron's sister." Foreman said, eating the last of his sandwich.

"And what did she say that made you guy's look so... shocked, even House!" Chase exclaimed.

"Sorry, it was too much. Maybe you can ask her yourself?" Foreman said, and stood up, patted his back and then walked away. Chase didn't think any of this was strange, so he sat down and ate, alone.

----------

"You said _what_?" Cameron almost screamed at her sister. "Do you know how _hard_ I've worked to leave all that behind me, to become who I am today? To walk into work and know that no one knows about my past, judging me?"

"I'm sorry." Danny said weakly, she had never seen her sister so angry before. She looked over to the door and saw that no one had come into the bathroom yet.

"I don't care Danny! Now I will never get House off my back, I will have Foreman and Chase on my back too, and then, the whole hospital will know!" she yelled, waving her hands wildly in the air. "I _just _worked up the courage to tell _you_ after 16 years I told you, doesn't that tell you something?" she asked her sister with teary eyes.

"I'm sorry, it just slipped out." Danny tried again.

"I don't care! I don't care Danny! How am I supposed to trust you with my secrets if they just 'slip out', what if you tell about Chris?" she asked, her voice getting lower and lower until it was a whisper.

"Maybe that wouldn't be so bad." Danny said quietly.

"What?" Cameron looked at her like she was crazy, and waited for an answer. "What do you mean with that?"

"That you were childish, you can't hide something like that! You were not the only one in that situation, you could've handled it!" now Danny was yelling.

"I was scared Danny, I regret it all, but I can't take it back! I can't..." she trailed off.

"That's so typical for you, you never think of the consequences" she stopped suddenly and looked at Cameron closely "That's why you got pregnant in the first place." she said quietly.

"No! I'm not like that anymore!" Cameron yelled.

"You are Allison, and you know it." Cameron shook her head.

"You think of me as a whore don't you, you think _all _of this is my own fault, that I should blame myself? I'm a slut to you."

"You are not-"

"You can't even admit it!? I go and sleep with Chase, and then with House, and you think I've done it with Foreman too? I have only done one-night stands four times Danny, four times, and all of those times I was drunk, or high as hell, and they only times I've been drunk or high!" she clenched her teeth. "You hate me, just because I didn't stay married, because I never got a child with him, because I went to med school, because I didn't want to be like you."

"I don't hate you." Danny said softly.

"Then what do you!? Cause clearly you don't love me!" tears started to fall from Cameron's eyes.

"I love you more then anything, how can you even say that?" Danny stepped up to her sister to hug her, but Cameron pushed her arms away.

"Fine you love me, but how can_ I_ love someone who thinks of me like that?" Danny's eyes darkened when she said that.

"You can't choose to love someone or not, you just do Ally, you can't hate me because I'm your sister, I'm your blood, I'm the only thing besides mom that you got right now." Danny warned.

"Nice to know that you think you are forced to love me." Cameron said with a nod. "You can leave now."

"All-"

"Leave! Don't call me! Don't visit me! Don't... just leave now!" Danny's eyes started to water, and she rushed out of the bathroom. Cameron bolted into a booth, and sat down on the toilet and cried. She didn't know why she tested the waters, why she pushed, and pushed just to see if those around her would handle it, if they would stay even though she pushed them to the breaking point.

"Dr. Cameron?" someone asked, and Cameron looked up to see Cuddy standing in front of her. "What happened?" Cameron shook her head, and when Cuddy tried to hug her she fought her hands away, she wanted to be alone. She didn't want to be alone.

"I need to..." she shook her head, suddenly becoming very aware about the fact that she was crying, and she started to wipe away the tears that were falling down her face.

"If you need to take the rest of the day off, I understand." Cuddy said, even though the hospital was low on staff, she couldn't risk having Cameron here when she was so devastated.

"Okay." she whispered, she really needed sometime off, and she was tired, more then tired.

"Come back tomorrow when you are feeling better, we all need a personal day sometimes." Cuddy put a hand on Cameron's shoulder, and she then walked out of the bathroom. After a while Cameron walked out too, after washing her face, she hurried to the conference room and was happy that no one was there, so she could walk out without confronting someone.

--------

Tobias came by later, he'd heard about her fight with Danny. He hugged her tightly, placing kisses on her forehead, they'd now been together for 3 weeks, but still there was no one in the world Cameron trusted more then him, even if it was too soon to tell or say. She could see herself loving this man, love his deep dark brown eyes, love the way his brown almost black hair curled in the strangest ways, the way he laughed, smiled, how he knew how to listen, simply everything about him.

"What happened?" he asked softly in her ear, and placed a kiss next to it, waiting patiently for her answer. She tugged his arms closer to her.

"She was so close telling my co-workers my deepest secrets..." she turned her head so that she looked him in his eyes.

"The one that took me over 17 years to tell her..." she felt a tear fall down her face, it tickled her, teasing her, and he wiped it away gently with his thumb.

"Okay." he said softly, he didn't care if she told him this secret of hers, if she wanted to, she would, and if she wouldn't... maybe she needed time, or it was something he would never know about.

"Aren't you curious about what the secret is?" she asked him softly.

"No, cause if you want me to know, you'll tell me, or you don't... It's your secret, and it's a secret for a reason." he smiled at her, glad that she had calmed down from her sobs, they had been so violent that he was afraid that she would faint or something like that.

"You're too good for me." she whispered with a smile, and drew a hair lock away from his face, looking slightly amused by his hairs outrageous look. "But I'll tell you... I trust you." she tilted her head so that it was leaning against his shoulder. "When I started school, there was this girl, Theresa, she was two years older then me. She was beautiful, popular, and I was her best friend. And then Hannah came, she was a year older then me, she was so nice, and we had so much fun together. Until I turned 8, that was when Theresa's father died, and her mother didn't even cry, she told everyone she was happy that he was gone, and Theresa was furious at her mother, less then a year later Theresa's mother remarried to an abusive man, he abused Theresa verbally, physically and sexually, when Theresa was 12 she killed herself... Hannah took this hard, her mother had killed herself when she was a baby, her father was an alcoholic... we had often discovered that she cut herself, and after Theresa died, she had no one except me, but she couldn't see me, she only saw that Theresa was gone, a year after Theresa died, on the anniversary of her death, she killed herself too... and I had no one left…"

"Ally." he whispered and kissed her tears that were falling.

"And if that had been it." she almost started to sob again when she said it. "When _I_ turned 12, I was so scared that I would do it too, that I would kill myself, that it was something with the age twelve... I guess that 12 isn't a good age..." she muttered, and looked at Tobias.

"What happened when you where twelve?" he asked, he didn't sound curious, he sounded comforting, that if she told him it all would be okay.

"I was walking home." she whispered, and he heard the slight fear of telling this. "It was dark, and I hated the dark, so I was hurrying home... and I heard a car pull up and I was scared, but then the windshield was pulled down, and there was my math teacher, he smiled at me and asked if I needed a ride home, and I was terrified of the dark so I agreed." she paused a moment to regain the ability to breathe "He told jokes, and I laughed... I rarely laughed then, and I had a good time until I noticed he didn't pull of where he was supposed to, and he told me he was taking a short cut... and I was naïve and believed him" she felt Tobias trace lines in her hand, and it calmed her down slightly, it told her it was over, that she was safe here "He stopped the car somewhere... and he turned to me... and I can't get that smile out of my head... those hard arms... I fought him with all the power I had... he wasn't so strong, and I was, I was an athlete then, and I fought him, ran out of the car, and just then a car passed where we were and stopped to help me"

He hugged her tighter, and waited for her to continue her story, let her talk, kissed her when he felt that she needed support, wiped away the tears to show her he was there for her. He never once interrupted her to ask questions, to say anything, to even try a comfort, actions speak louder then words, that was his philosophy. He was though surprised when she jumped to last year, when she told him that she got pregnant once again, that her boss was the father, and she told him everything.

"I'm so glad I've got you." she said when she finished. "You don't judge me."

"Why should I?" he asked, and she smiled at him.

"See." and she cuddled in his arms again. They did not speak, and he knew, his secrets where her secrets, and her secrets where his secrets.

"I too have secrets." he told her, and she turned to look at him, almost startled by the sound of his voice after almost an half an hour of silence. She did not say anything, only waiting, just like he had done. "I also have a son, he's 18 now... when I was 15 I got a girl pregnant, asked her to marry me, but she didn't want to, my dad was furious, hers too, but they knew that there was nothing they could do. And she had my son, soon 19 years ago, in January. His name is Philip, he's a straight A student." he spoke proudly of him. "But I can't see him, when I was 22 I had a fair share of run ins with the law, and she got sole custody of him..." her eyes brimmed with tears she refused to shed until he was finished. "She thought, still does that I didn't fight for him but I did everything in my power to keep him. I didn't straighten up after this, it got worse, I saw no point in life, I started doing drugs, but no one cared to notice, I got into fights no one cared to report, and I saw crimes that I wish I can erase from my memory." he looked at her "And when I was 25, long after I've been kicked out of college, long after I started to live on the street, I saw my son standing inside a coffee shop, next to his mother, and he turned to me... and he waved, and then he turned back to his mother, he didn't tell her that I was there. That's when I decided that I was going to clean up, I turned up on my parents door step after not seeing them or hearing from them for over 3 years, and they were so happy that I was alive that they didn't care about what I'd done the last years..." he turned to look at her. "That's when I went back to college, and that's why I'm a social worker, after I've seen those crimes... And I've never been the cop type of guy." he finished off smiling, and this time Cameron kissed him.

"We're one hell of a couple." and they both laughed.

* * *

Pleaaaseee review!!!! Make my day!   
And I _hate _the title "Ready?", so if anyone has an idea of what this story could be called, please tell me!  
(Please no flaming, but constructive critisims is what I like )) 


	10. Chapter 9

_Chapter 9_

(4 months has gone by)

_A year ago I__ was in labor_, she thought as she looked at the calendar. It was Christopher's first birthday, and it was John's first birthday too. If it wasn't for the fact that she was invited to John's birthday party she would've stayed at home and sulked, eaten ice cream, and stayed in PJ's all day, but she also thought it was good that she was invited. So that she wouldn't do just that, that she would move on, and act normal on a day like that too.

Tobias knew very well what day it was, and as soon as he'd woken up he'd kept an eye on her, making sure she was okay, and she smiled every time he asked her if she was okay. They'd been living together for a month. Some people had their opinion about their relationship, that they were moving too fast, but they loved each other, they thought they were moving as slow as their emotions let them.

"Man you're beautiful." he said as he looked at her when she walked into the kitchen dressed in a knee length dress in many different colors that shouted spring, her long bangs were pulled up behind her head in a messy but yet stylish bun, and the hair that was loose from it was curled.

"I know." she teased with a smile. "Ooh, don't you look handsome?" she said as she saw that he was wearing black dress pants, a dark purple dress shirt and a brown tie, his hair looked as if it was under slight control.

"Well I have to, or else they might thing I've black-mailed my woman into a relationship." he teased her back.

"Your woman?" she asked amused.

"That sound's like what I said." he started to tickle her, and she tried not to laugh, but she couldn't control it long, and suddenly the kitchen was filled with laughter.

"Stop it." she pleaded breathlessly. "It hurts... Stop it... it hurts." she pleaded yet again, and then she thought of something that would stop him. Suddenly she captured his lips with hers, and he stopped instantly to kiss her back. When neither of them stopped the kiss, it became more and more passionate.

And they were late for John's birthday party.

They hurried inside the building, Cameron pulling her brown jacket closer to her as the wind blew harder. She could still see some snow that still hadn't melted away. And they quickly pressed the number 9 when they entered the elevator.

"It's your fault." she said warningly but yet playfully.

"No it was you who was so damned beautiful." he argued back.

"What about you, you were so damned handsome, you still are." She smiled.

"You kissed me." he stated.

"You tickled me." she stated.

"You led me to the bedroom." he whispered in her ear and she blushed just as the elevator opened, and they saw that a few people had escaped to the hallway and saw her blush, and she blushed even harder.

"I hate you." she stated quietly.

"You love me." he winked, and they walked up to the right door, and it hit her that she had not seen the inside of Foreman's new apartment, nor the outside.

"You made it." Foreman said, sounding as if they saved his life more then being happy that they where here. "Please save me from these adult eating children." Cameron giggled slightly at that, sounding very girlish.

"That would be an excellent story for a horror movie: the adult eating children, out soon." Tobias said in a deep voice, and then he raised his eyebrows as if questioning if that was good, and Cameron shook her head, and followed Foreman into the apartment.

"Hey, what took you guy's so long?" Foreman's girlfriend Mary asked, and Cameron glared slightly at Tobias, and Tobias looked at her, and then he smiled. "Okay, I don't want to know." Mary laughed putting her hands up in the air.

"But I do envy you, keep doing that as long as you don't have any children, when you get them, your sex life is over." Tobias and Cameron laughed, and did not mention that they did have children; just that someone else was raising them.

"Now we know why Foreman has been so cranky this last year." House pointed out, and they all wondered who invited him, and why he even came.

"Shut up House." Foreman said and walked out of the room.

"So you are Tom?" House asked Tobias.

"Tobias." he corrected.

"Whatever, I was close...To." House said dismissingly, and Cameron rolled her eyes, and turned to look at Tobias so that her back was to House.

"Can we..." she pointed to where Foreman had gone seconds earlier.

"Are you okay?" Tobias whispered in her ear as they walked out of the kitchen.

"Yes." she answered, and then whispered "But I would be a lot better if he wasn't here." she said referring to House.

"You can't always get what you want..." he said with a slight smile, and Cameron had to giggle.

"Oh he's so cute!" Cameron suddenly exclaimed when she saw the baby in Foreman's arms, he was bouncing him up and down, and he was laughing.

"Yeah he is." Tobias agreed next to her, and she turned to smile at him.

"They're lucky." Her smile turned sad, and he pulled and arm around her shoulder and drew her to him and kissed her forehead.

"So are you." he whispered into her ear and she smiled at him and leaned in as Foreman helped John to open his presents and Mary filmed it. What they didn't notice was House standing not too far from them, getting more and more curious as the minutes went by.

The birthday party went by eventless, smiles and laughs like a normal birthday party, the children stood for the cries. When the clock turned 5, all the children were tired and started to head home, leaving the childless people behind in the apartment, that means a few of Foreman's and Mary's friends, Chase, House, Cameron and Tobias.

After John had been put to bed, they brewed coffee, and sat down and ate the leftovers of the cake. Cameron and Tobias started a playful banter over where they'd eaten on their first date, and who asked who out on the second date, the first was quite obvious. House looked at them disgusted but Mary and Foreman only smiled and said: been there, done that. After a while they were interrupted by Cameron's cell phone, and she looked at the display. It looked like she had an inner battle about the fact of answering it, but when Tobias whispered something in her ear she nodded and stood up.

"Is it okay if I take it on the balcony?" she asked and Mary nodded.

"You'll only freeze half to death." Cameron smiled in return, and hurried to the balcony door.

"Allison" they heard her strained voice say. "Yeah, of course... Hav-" that was the last thing they heard before the balcony door closed, and they saw a small smile form on her face that was both happy and sad. Everyone in the room turned to look at Tobias, but he pretended he didn't notice.

"So which time was John born on the day?" he smiled brightly at them and everyone in the room felt a little creped out by this turn in mood.

"10:33pm." Mary said and smiled, and glanced over to the balcony where Cameron was pacing, looking somewhat upset, shaking, and nodding her head, sometimes speaking. "Is she okay?" Mary asked when she saw that Cameron was trying to wipe away tears that were falling down her face.

"Oh no." Tobias shot out of his chair and hurried out on the balcony.

_The same time on the balcony_

"Yeah I understand..." she said. She did understand. What she couldn't understand was why she felt the way she did, it was her choice. She had given him up. " Can I at least say happy birthday to him one last time?" she asked, tears welling up in her eyes, "No?" she said, and shook her head and started to pace. "Yeah I get it... just one last time, it's not like he'll remember It." she bit her lip, "Fine, fine." she started to wipe away the tears that started falling. "YES! I GET IT! HAVE A GREAT LIFE!" she screamed into the phone, and then slammed it shut, and turned around to see Tobias standing there. She swallowed when she saw that the door was still open. He closed it silently and walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her, and she fell apart, something she at the most didn't let herself to.

She looked at the clock that was on his wrist, and noted what time it was.

"A year ago now... he was born." she said quietly, and he pulled away, and started to wipe away the tears that were falling down, and he nodded.

"Maybe we should get home..." she nodded, and they both went inside. When they got inside she suddenly became aware of the fact that they'd seen her breakdown outside, and she quickly looked to the ground. "We're going to head home, this missy here is getting a bit cranky." she laughed and pushed his arm lightly, and he smiled.

"See you on Monday." she waved to them, and they went into the hallway and they put on their jackets and left.

They did not speak to each other on the way home; the radio was the only thing that filled the silence between them, watching the rain pour down on the window, and the streets that magically lit up in the rain with streetlights, traffic lights and from the car. Cameron had always loved the rain, how beautiful everything looked when it rained at night, it looked peaceful. They pulled up to their apartment complex, and hurried inside still in silence, and walked up the stairs and stopped outside their door to open the door, but before Tobias opened the door he turned and looked at Cameron.

"Maybe we should..." he trailed of, and tilted his head, his brown locks fell down in his face and she smiled at the familiar feeling of annoyance.

"Maybe we should… what?" she asked, and smiled again as he smiled.

"Maybe we should watch that movie tomorrow instead... get to bed early?" he smiled and kissed the top of her head, she nodded.

"Yeah… that sounds like a great idea." he unlocked the door, but before walking inside he kissed her gently on the lips.

"Ally... I love you so much." Cameron's smile grew big.

"How do you always make me so happy?"

--------

She had not talked with her sister for 4 months, not since thanksgiving when they had yelled at each other. She still couldn't find it in her, but when her sister called after 4 months of silence it was a shock for her. She had sought for truth she knew she wouldn't get, and ended up being hung up on. Her sister had been shocked by the anger that was in her voice, the confidence, the slight happiness, maybe it was how she sounded when they were little, when they had fought over who's doll was who's, and her sister had smiled because she knew her sister was back, and if it would mean a broken relationship with her that was the price to pay.

House noticed that she was happier, but that didn't stop him from being curious to what had caused her break down a week ago. It was still three weeks till her father had been dead a year, sure it could be that, but he knew that wasn't the whole truth. He had tried to get her personal file, even her medical one, but the lady wouldn't give him it. He asked Wilson to do it, but he refused to do it, so he was left with questioning her, something that she had been waiting for, for over a year.

She walked into the office two weeks after John's birthday party. She looked a bit sadder then the week before, maybe it was because her father's death anniversary was coming closer, or it would something else. House never settled for wondering, he had piled up these questions for too long.

"Good morning Dr. Cameron" he said when she walked into his office to check his e-mail, she jumped in surprise.

"Gosh House, you scared me." she looked at him. "Why are you here so early?" she asked confused, and began the task to get him out of the chair.

"Wouldn't want to miss the chance to have a small 'chat' with you." he smiled at her, and she looked at him weirdly.

"Seriously, did you fall asleep in here or something?" she looked at his clothes, not the same he had yesterday, but he could've had a pair of clothes with him incase a patient threw up on him or something like that.

"No, I was serious." he looked at her closely. "I've been meaning to ask you these questions a while now, but I just never got the chance." he said like a principal would do to a student who had been misbehaving.

"Really, and what questions may that be?" she took a deep breathe when he still didn't leave the chair, so she stood there with her hands on her hips.

"Well firstly, how you slept with me, and left for god knows where before I woke up." he paused and looked at her, her expression was blank. "Then how you left so suddenly, ignored our calls, hid in that closet, how I found you at your fathers funeral reception, what your sister told me, and then when you came back, how different you were, and then, you suddenly became more and more like yourself?!"

"I… uh, what do you want with this?" she asked him harshly.

"Answers." he stated simply.

"To get the right answers you have to ask the right questions." she pushed him.

"Why did you kiss me?" he gazed at her, and she did not hesitate to give her answer.

"It was a bet, 200 dollars total." she said, not breaking the stare.

"Why did you leave that morning?" this took her a longer time to answer.

"I didn't know how to act... one night stands aren't my thing..." she looked to the ground.

"Why did you ignore our calls?" This she did not answer. She just looked at him with an expression that looked bored and slightly disappointed for some reason. "Why did you leave so suddenly?"

"I've told you it was my father who needed help!" she half screamed at him, and walked out of his office to the conference room.

"Well I'm not buying it!" he yelled at her, and looked as Foreman walked through the doors, shocked that he was screaming at her, and so early!

"Why? Because I can't possibly be so kind and help my father out, huh!?" she crossed her arms and looked at him, waiting for a nanosecond for his answer.

"No, because _why_ would you do that when they had enough money for a nurse!? Here you could've earned money!" he looked upset.

"I wanted to take care of my father, he was going to die, okay? I was scared because I would never see my father again! And-" she took a breath and realized where she was going. "And I-I just wanted to be near him!"

"Bullshit! He had more then a year left on his meds, you didn't know that when you left, hell you probably didn't even know how sick he was until you got there, if you knew you would've also known that if you went you still wouldn't be there when he died!" he yelled.

"_How_ do you know this? _You _have no right looking into that!" she pointed to the ground to give a more dramatic affect, and to give her hands something else to do but slap him.

"Is that why you bribed them to not give me your personal file? Or is there another reason for that?" he leered at her for a few seconds, and watched as her face became flushed in anger.

"I did that incase you would come and look for it, it was because of my low expectations, and you did it, I can't believe you- you keep on amazing me." she said bitterly, and heard the door open once again, probably Chase.

"Well you keep on giving me reasons to keep on doing it." he spoke just as bitterly.

"Don't blame your curiosity on me!" she warned him.

"How can I not be!? You left just when I found it!" she realized what it was a second after he said it.

"I told you I wasn't." she said slowly and cautiously.

"How can I believe you when you left so suddenly, you were begging for my curiosity." House retorted.

"I was _begging_ for my privacy, _that_ was why I left!"

"So you admit that it wasn't your father?" he asked, and she stared at him, then at Chase and Foreman that were staring at them shocked.

"Can you believe him!?" she asked them. "I've worked for him for... soon 6 years! And he goes through my personal stuff!" she suddenly snapped. "You want to know what made me who I am, what made me so _damaged _as you call it?" she looked at him, and they saw that she had lost it, that she had reached the breaking limit.

"Came-" Chase started.

"No, let's find out." she smiled angrily "Two of my best _friends _killed themselves when I hardly knew what that meant!"_ Ally... I'm so sorry…_ _"_My math teacher tried to _rape _me, and..." …_Do you need a ride?... _she stopped with tears threatening to fall "I was bullied at school and raped in the girls _locker room!_" …_You're a whore, you deserve this, it's your own fault, I know you want it!..._

"Came-" Chase started again, but she glared at him, and that made him stop mid-word.

"You want to know why I married a dying man? Because he a_sked me to!"… Allison... please marry me, please… _"When he died I was devastated. I had a one-night stand with a guy I still don't know what his name is, I got pregnant, and I aborted it, that's why I'm so attached to babies, because I _killed _one!" she turned to House, looking at him she knew that she wouldn't keep anymore secrets, she wiped away her tears. "I got pregnant last year." she looked him in the eyes, and spoke softly but bitterly "I couldn't go through with another abortion, so I left, put the baby up for adoption, and came back here, and I feel so ashamed because of it, but I can't change the past" she paused only for a beat "It was a boy, they named him Christopher... and three weeks after he was born my father died..."

"You... you did what?" his voice was low and shaking with anger.

"I..." she couldn't explain, she didn't know how to make this better. She hated that she'd lost it.

"I asked you!" he yelled "I _straight out _asked you!" he slammed his cane on the table, causing everyone in the room to jump. "And you said **no!**"

"I'm sorry House." Cameron spoke as she turned her head in sorrow.

"No!" he shouted "You're not!" his eyes radiated his anger. "I had the right to know that I was going to be a father!" she looked down, she feared looking at him, the anger she had caused, the disappointment that she was just like everyone else. A liar. "I had the right to be a father!" he yelled.

"But I didn't want to be a mother!" she yelled, she saw the nurses and doctors out in the hall, not hiding that they were listening. "I wasn't ready!" she added, she knew she was far from ready, she had to have a closure to her past before she could start the rest of her life.

"Well I don't care!" he shouted "It wasn't just about you! It was about you, me and him!"

"And you are one to speak!"

"What?"

"Hypocrite." she muttered, and he glared at her.

"I've never done something to this extent!" They both were furious with each other.

"Fuck you." she muttered so he barely heard it.

"What, I didn't hear you." he challenged with a hand to his ear.

"Fuck! You!" she stormed out of the conference room, but when the door closed behind her, she could only look at everyone that surrounded her, and she stopped and looked around. Everyone knew. Every _single_ one. She heard the door open behind her.

"You think running away from this will help?" he asked, his voice still a bit high, and angry. "Every time it gets a bit difficult you run!"

"Do you blame me?" she said so only he could hear, they were standing really close to each other. They could feel each others breathe on their skin.

"Yes." he answered without even thinking "Why wouldn't I? Thanks to you I will probably never see my own son." she started to pull something out of her lab coat, and handed it to him.

"There, see." she said angrily. He looked down, and noticed it was a photo of a baby that didn't look older then two months, with big blue eyes open and looking at the camera with a surprised smile. He looked up at her again, this only made his anger grow. He turned his back to her, and still had the photo in his hands.

"You're fired!" he yelled.

"Thank you!" she yelled back, took her lab coat off, threw it on the ground, and walked the other way to the elevators. She walked past all the shocked doctors and nurses, stepped inside and rode to the first floor, and hurried to the locker room and took out her purse, jacket, and threw her jacket on quickly. She couldn't wait to get out of there. She took out everything she could fit in her purse that was in her locker, and then closed her door, and took the sign of her name and threw it on the ground just like she had done with her lab coat. And then she walked out of the locker room, and into the hospital-lobby. She had to walk through the lobby to get to her car from the locker room, no matter where she was going from the locker room she had to go through the lobby.

Everyone was looking at her, patients, doctors nurses, the patients knew from the staff's reaction who she was and bad news travels fast, but gossip travels faster. She looked past them all, not too fast or too slow, and soon she was out, and walking towards her car.

"Dr. Cameron!" she heard someone yell behind her, and she turned around to see Cuddy standing there.

"Dr. Cuddy" she nodded her greeting.

"I heard about your... fallout with Dr. House" she stated, and she looked slightly embarrassed.

"I think the entire hospital has by now." She said with no emotion.

"You're probably right." she admitted. "I will talk to House-"

"No, I'm fine with this." Cameron cut her off "I've actually wanted out quite some time now... but I never had the courage to quit." she shrugged. "Maybe I should send him a thank-you note." she smiled slightly.

"I can offer you another position-"

"No, I'm going to take a little more time off, and then I think I'm going to move from New Jersey... maybe closer to my home town." she smiled.

"Well, if you need help with your recommendation letter, I'll be happy to help, because I don't think House will be so keen on it." Cuddy tried to lighten the mood.

"I think I can agree on that." Cameron smiled half-heartily.

"Well, I think that I have to get back inside... I'll give you a call." Cameron nodded her 'ok', and Cuddy turned away to walk back into the hospital.

"Cuddy..." she turned around and looked at her. "Thank you... for not judging me..."

"Contrary to popular belief, we're all human." Cuddy answered, and continued to walk into the hospital, and Cameron smiled, and unlocked her car, and sat down to drive home.

When she walked into her apartment later, she dropped her purse and it hit her what she'd done. And she started to laugh. She had just done everything she had tried to avoid the past year- everyone knew about her past. She was beginning to think she was crazy when she felt tears fall down her face, and she started to cry. Maybe she wasn't crazy after all, just... a bit out of her mind.

* * *

Ok I updated earlier then I planned because I'm so happy (pleased...). House starts again September fourth:D Sure it's only the other half of season two but... All In- can't wait! And the the fifth Heroes is coming to Sweden!  
And I'm not changing the title but thank you Bubbles1994, chicagochicklett and Orchidae for your suggestions, they were all good and fitting for this story.  
And I'm sad to say that there are only two more chapters left (I maybe will do a sequel, if wanted) :( Please review!! 


	11. Chapter 10

_Chapter 10_

They sat in silence in the car. The rain was pouring down on the windshield, and the sky was so dark that it looked like it was night. Tobias was driving, his whole body was tense, and turned to her several times to say something, but turned back to the road quickly. She was staring out of the window, avoiding him as good as she could in the confined space they were stuck in for now.

"You need to stop." Tobias said after a while of unbearable silence.

"Stop what?" she asked clueless, and turned so that she was facing him, and raised her eyebrows as she waited for the answer.

"What you've been doing for the past four days; moping." he looked at her quickly before returning to the road.

"Can he drive any slower?" he muttered, and sighed annoyed.

"I'm not-" Cameron was getting ready to reply before she was cut off.

"Yes you are, you haven't eaten for the past four days, you haven't slept, and you've just sat on that couch looking through photos! It's a miracle I got you out of the apartment." she glared at him.

"Maybe I should've stayed there." she crossed her arms across her chest, and looked out of the window again.

"And _when _are you going to stop acting so _childish_?" he almost yelled, getting fed up with her.

"I- Can't you just let me be sad and deal with this!?" Cameron said frustrated.

"You're not dealing with it, you're avoiding It." she took a deep breathe, and chose not to answer. "I think he was right."

"What? Who?" Cameron asked slightly confused.

"That House guy, when he said you run away from everything, every time it gets difficult!" He said annoyingly.

"I do not!" she screamed "Say one time!"

"When you were raped you tried to kill yourself, when your husband died you ran to the first guy who showed interest in you, when you got pregnant you ran home to your parents, and now when he found out about it, you want to move to another city!" He was getting angry at the way she was acting.

"I was fired!" she yelled back "And you have no right to judge me for trying to kill myself, you have no idea how I felt! I had no one!"

"You are not the only one who has been raped." he glared at her "What the fuck is wrong with this guy!? It's only rain for god sake!" he started to overtake him.

"Tobias! What are you doing?" she asked scared, she hated the rain.

"I'm trying to get _home_." he tried to cut the car in front of them again, but failed.

"You are trying to get us killed!" she yelled back.

"Shut up!" he pulled the car into the other lane, and within seconds a car was driving towards them.

"Look out!" Tobias tried to drive into the lane they had been in before, but there was no space there left. "Oh my god." she muttered seconds before the impact.

"Allison!" she heard him shout, but didn't have the time to react before pain shot through both of their bodies, and they got slung forwards, and then back. The world turned black for both of them.

-

He opened his eyes slowly, and groaned at the pain that filled his whole body. He looked at the windshield, and saw that it was broken, he groaned when he thought what that would cost. Then he noticed that it was still raining, and that gave him some sort of comfort while it scared him at the same time. He wondered how long time he had been there. He looked to the side to see if Allison was ok, and he saw that she had a big gash on her forehead, probably from a piece of glass, he shuddered. She had to be ok; he couldn't live with himself if she was hurt.

He heard a siren in the distance, and closed his eyes because the pain was too much, and he drifted off.

-

"33 year old Allison Cameron, was in a car accident, suffered a blow to her head, went into cardiac arrest on the scene." a paramedic told the doctors in the ER as they brought her in. The doctors took over quickly, and rushed her away so they could start working on her.

"34 year old Tobias Carlsson, was in the same car accident, suffered a hard hit to chest and stomach, has been unstable all the way here." he was gone within seconds too.

Two nurses stood a few feet away from where they had been brought in and looked at each other, a worried expression on their faces.

"Did they say Allison Cameron?" the blond nurse asked the brunette nurse.

"I think so..." they looked at each other.

"Wasn't she the one that worked under Dr. House, but was fired because..." her voice trailed off, and the brunette nodded, the blond let out a breath "God..." the brunette nodded, and picked up a file and looked over it, and walked away from the blond.

-

"House!" Wilson ran into the conference room, and saw House in the middle of mocking Chase because of something; he then noticed the symptoms scribbled on the white board.

"What's wrong Jimmy Boy? Have you run out of nurses to flirt with?" he pouted mockingly, but Wilson didn't even roll his eyes, or react any other way, he remained serious.

"House." his voice was low "It's Cameron."

"What about her?" his jaw clenched, only thinking of Cameron made his mood change to anger.

"She was in a car accident, she arrived down in the ER ten minutes ago." he said quickly.

"What?" House said, not really believing what he was hearing.

"They're not sure she will make it." House quickly picked his cane up from where he had put it on the table, and limped in record speed towards the elevators that would take him closest to the ER.

He didn't know how he got lost. His thoughts were all over the place. He had walked past the ER without noticing, and had no idea where he was. It was strange because he thought he knew every place in the hospital. He managed to get to the ER ten minutes after he went down, twenty minutes after she was brought in. He walked around the ER for another ten minutes, afraid of what he would meet when he found her.

He saw her not so far away from where he was standing. Her torso jerked off the bed as a shock went through her body. He shook a little, waiting for her heart to start beating. It didn't. The flat line didn't curve. The shrill didn't change to soft beeping. The doctor looked at the nurses. He knew that look. They couldn't give that look when it's _her _on the table.

"Don't!" he demanded loudly.

"Dr. House.." the doctor looked at him surprised.

"One more time." he demanded them.

"Dr. House she's been down over-" a nurse started to protest.

"**Do it!" **he said through gritted teeth, the doctors and nurses looked at each other helplessly. "**Now!" **the doctor looked at one of the nurses and sighed.

"Charge it again." seconds later he called out 'clear', and she once again jerked off the bed, and landed softly on it again. She was so small. He had always noticed that she was small, and young. But she was... petit... not only short but... thin. He looked on her amazed as the shrill continued. She was dead.

The nurse looked at the doctor, and the doctor shook his head.

"Time of death-" he was stopped by a beat. They looked at each other. House fought a smile, and settled for a breath of relief. The beat continued rhythmic. He knew she wasn't safe yet, but that heartbeat assured him. She was gone seconds later, rushed to surgery, why he didn't hear. Her heart was beating. He had never been so happy for something he had taken for granted. Her heart should beat long before he's gone. It shouldn't stop when he still had years left.

-

He sat outside her room. She had been out of surgery for four hours. His shift ended three hours ago. He had decided that he was going to stay. He wouldn't sit by her bed, but outside her room. He didn't remember why he was so mad at her before. She was scared, and he should've understood her. He's scared all the time after all.

She looked pale, almost the shade of the tape that held the tube she had down her throat in place. He face was bruised and cut, her hand was wrapped in a bandage, and the left leg in a cast. He still didn't know why she was in surgery, and he didn't want to. She was still in critical condition, and he knew that he would breathe out when she's been stable for at least a day.

She hadn't flat lined once since when he ordered them to shock her again.

Wilson sat down next to him. He had stayed late another day. It wasn't strange that he had divorced so many times; his first need was the hospital, then women.

"Her condition isn't going to change by sitting here." he told his best friend, but kept his eyes at Cameron. "You should go home and sleep."

"I don't sleep." he told him, and opened his mouth again to say something sarcastic, but his mind blanked, and he continued to watch her sleep... or whatever she was doing.

"Have you forgiven her?" Wilson asked.

"Does the apple forgive the tree for dropping it?" Wilson looked at him strangely.

"That doesn't even make sense."

"Neither does this." at this point he usually would leave, but to leave Wilson would mean to leave Cameron. And that wouldn't do.

"They are going to arrest her boyfriend." Wilson informed him, and that made him turn his head to Wilson.

"What?" that surprised him_, a lot_, that To... guy seemed quite ok actually, but of course, not everybody are like they appear. Actually very few people are... if any.

"Yeah... the alcohol level in his blood was a bit higher then what they classify as legal... and he was driving, and the witnesses told that he drove out in another lane to overtake a car that was driving a little over the speed limit..." he sighed "But the moment he is a little unstable so the arrest will have to wait a couple of days..." he looked at House's reaction.

"Bastard." he said through gritted teeth.

"House?" Wilson asked after a long silence of watching Cameron through the glass wall. "Are you going to be ok?"

"No." Wilson nodded his head and patted his shoulder.

"I have to go, I'll bring you breakfast and coffee tomorrow." House nodded, but didn't answer or turn his head towards him as he left.

-

Wilson found him there the next morning, pacing in front of her room. Sitting down most of the night wasn't good on his leg. He watched him as he walked away from him, and then when he turned around, and saw him standing with a cup of coffee and a paper bag.

"How is she doing?" he pointed with his head towards the room that she was lying in, the blinds were drawn now.

"She stopped breathing once, but other then that..." he shrugged, took the coffee and the paper bag and sat down.

"Her family is in there now." Wilson nodded, though House's behavior wasn't extremely strange, it was a bit strange, it was so mild, and soft. House dug into the paper bag and took out a Reuben, no pickles, and ate it with great appetite.

"When did they get here?" he asked House, and sat down next to him.

"Twenty minutes ago." he answered shortly.

"Don't you have a patient?" House shrugged.

"Meningitis." he answered simply, and let out a long breathe "Foreman figured it out." Wilson looked at his watch.

"I have a meeting, but I'll be back with lunch." House nodded, but didn't even look at Wilson as he walked away towards the elevators that would take him to the floor his office was on.

-

It took six days before she opened her eyes again. She opened her eyes, and it didn't take long for her to see that she was in a hospital, her throat was soar, and her whole body was aching. She looked around confused, and saw that her mother was sitting by a table a bit from the bed reading a magazine, and on the other side her sister was sitting, looking out of the window slightly absentminded.

She groaned slightly when she tried to say something, and realized something was shoved down her throat. This was bad, she realized then. And her mother and sister turned to her in an instant, and rushed to her bedside, and her mother put a hand to the left side of her face, and held it there. She saw the fear that slowly started to fade away in her mothers eyes, and put one of her hands over it. She noticed that it was wrapped in a white bandage. She did this because she knew what had happened was bad, but she didn't really remember what happened. The last thing she remembered was sitting down in the car with Tobias to drive from the grocery store.

A doctor she didn't recognize came in, and took the tube out of her throat, and to stop her coughing he gave her a glass of water. Her throat was so dry so she drank the whole glass almost without taking one breathe. She breathed in and out for a few seconds just to test it, and then she looked at her sister and mother.

"What happened?" she asked them with a raspy voice, and they looked at each other, sharing a worried glanced.

"You don't remember?" she shook her head.

"Just sitting down in the car with Tobias." her mother clenched for a few seconds, and Cameron looked confused.

"What?"

"You were in a car accident." her sister revealed, and her eyes widened.

"Tobias? How is Tobias?" was her first question, she cared so much about him, even though the past two days had been spent fighting... or how long time had it been?

"He's soon released from the hospital..." she closed her eyes and let out a breath of relief "But... he's going to be arrested for driving drunk." her eyes shot open again.

"H-he wasn't drunk!" she protested loudly, but then thought for a second "He was drunk?" Danny nodded, and Cameron felt tears in her eyes, he risked both of their lives? "No..." she started crying, she didn't want to feel the betrayal she felt towards him then, he was the only one he'd had for the past months. The only one that had cared, and he let her down in such way, he risked both of them getting killed. Her ribs started to hurt when she started to cry, and she felt hopeless, helpless and confused. Her life never went the way she wanted it to.

"Honey..." her mother said with a sigh, and he sister took her other hand and held it, they didn't want to risk hurting her by hugging her. The one thing she needed the most.

-

House walked past her room for the second time that day. He had stopped camping outside her room after two days when his leg started to protest loudly, so he started walking past her room every time he had the chance... so every time he was sent to the clinic, every time he hid from Cuddy or a patient, which was... about one every two hours. She woke up two days ago, and had started to realize that he had made it a routine to check up on her, even though he never talked to her. This time though she raised her hand and waved at him and then waved him in. He walked reluctantly to the door to her room, and leaned against the doorframe.

"You care." she stated with a smile, and he didn't appear to be confused, but they both know he was inside. "You walk past here at least five times a day, you only look briefly into my room, the first days when I was brought in you never left that chair outside my room." she pointed at the red plastic chair outside the room. He looked at the chair like it was an alien, and then looked back at her, he had nothing to say. She took a deep breathe "I know you haven't forgiven me, hell, I haven't forgiven myself... but it means a lot that you... care... thank you."

"Can... can you just answer one question?" she nodded her head. "Why didn't you just tell me?" she closed her eyes, and then looked down at her lap.

"Because I hoped that you would figure out anyway... and because I didn't want you to feel forced to raise him..." she sighed. He nodded, and turned, he'd gotten his answer, but she stopped him "House..." he turned around, and she was silent for a few seconds before she spoke again "I'm glad you know now." he nodded.

"Me too." and even though he hadn't forgiven her, he understood that neither of them were _ready _and _prepared _for a child, but he guessed that he would've just made himself ready... he wanted a child of his own... but that was his own secret. No one knew about that.

-

Tobias walked into her room two days after House had been in there. He looked sad and regretful as he saw her still bruised face, and the cut across the forehead. She looked at him, expecting him to say something to make it ok, cause he had to, she couldn't go on, they had to be ok again. He sighed and looked down, then started to walk towards her bed, limping slightly.

"I'm-I'm sorry Ally." her nickname on his lips sounded so wrong, and she didn't want him saying it, she wanted him to leave. Nothing was going to be ok.

"Why did you do it?" she asked, and noticed how close to tears she actually was.

"I- I don't know... I was confused and jealous..." he shook his head.

"B-but you risked my life!" she yelled and sobbed at the same time and he looked down in shame.

"I'm sorry." he said again.

"I want it to be ok again, I want to forgive you! But I can't!" she yelled "I _died _Tobias! They were _seconds _away from declaring me dead!" her shoulders shook. She didn't know who really saved her, who made them shock her that last time, but what she didn't know, didn't help or hurt her anyway.

"I'm sorry." he repeated, and she looked away in pity, she now understood how House felt.

"Leave..." she said in a low voice. "Just... go" she sounded defeated. She had no one again. Her attempt to get a life again almost took it away... She wondered if being a doctor was all she was going to become.

"Allison..." he tried.

"I don't want to see you again!" she yelled at him, and he hung his head low, and walked out of the room where two police officers were waiting. They cuffed him outside her door, and slowly led him towards the elevators down the hall. She watched this, and felt pity for him. She wondered if that was what House had felt for her.

-

A few hours later Mary, Foreman's girlfriend walked into her room, she looked at Mary confused, and sat up a little higher in her bed.

"Hi, Mary." she greeted with a smile, and Mary smiled wide, flashing her white teeth.

"Hey... how are you feeling?" she asked genuinely concerned as she sat down in the plastic chair next to her bed.

"Still like I've been hit by a truck... but its better then when I woke up." Mary nodded, and put two hands on the bed.

"You really scared Eric... you're almost like a little sister to him." she chuckled at that comment, and looked down at her hands. "He came home the day you were brought in, and he was shaking... he just hugged me, and didn't let go until John walked into the room, and he hugged him... And then he told me that you were brought into the ER." she let out a long breathe "It just hit us how fragile our life was..." she looked up at Cameron with teary eyes "And I just wanted to say I'm really, _really _glad you're ok..." Cameron took Mary's hand, and just smiled. She was glad something good came out of the bad.

"I'm glad too." Cameron said with a smile, and Mary laughed a little.

"So Eric told me you had a son." Mary said with a smile, and Cameron nodded.

"His name is Christopher... and he was born the same day as John... He's got blue eyes, and dark brown hair..." and she trailed off there, because there wasn't much more she knew. "I gave him up..." she stated then, looking out of the window, and looked a little gone.

"I know." Mary said in a low voice "And I actually respect you for doing that." she confessed.

"You do?" Cameron asked surprised. "Why?"

"Because you could've aborted him... but you decided that he could become somebody else's son, and you could've kept him and let him grow up with a mother who wasn't ready for a child." she shrugged. "You gave him a better future." she hadn't thought about it like that before.

-

The next person that came was Chase, he walked into her room with a bunch of flowers. He smiled and put them down on the table.

"How are you feeling?" he asked her, and looked like he rather wanted to be somewhere else.

"Better." she stated, and he nodded, and there was an awkward silence. It was broken by his pager going off, and he looked up at her.

"I got to go, uh... bye." and with that he rushed out of the room, she never thought that it would get that awkward with Chase.

-

After Chase it was only her family who came and visited her, Foreman never came, but she suspected that Mary came instead of Foreman. And the weeks slowly went by, three weeks after she woke up she was taken outside for the first time after the accident, but she was sitting in a wheelchair. Soon after that she started to work up the muscles in her leg, and arms so she could walk on crushes, and eight weeks after the accident she was going home.

As a nurse wheeled the wheelchair through the lobby, with her mother and sister standing on both sides of her, various nurses and doctors wished her good luck, and told her to get well, and the smile on her face grew because it felt like they didn't judge her. She saw House standing in the distance, watching her and everyone there, she smiled and waved at him, but he didn't move a finger, or even show somehow that he saw her.

When she got back to her apartment with her sister and mother they helped her pack the stuff she needed, and wanted, so she could come back to Chicago with them. She still had a month on her lease, so she couldn't move really move out yet, but she wasn't so sure that she would come back soon again.

After that she sat down in her sister's small blue car, and they drove the long way to Chicago in silence, happy for the fact that something called radio existed.

* * *

So uhm... I killed Cameron... But she survived! And the good thing is that it was House that "kind of" saved her :D So next chapter is the last :( Either I will do an epilogue now, or I'll do a longer sequel, a multi chapter fic, but then it's going to take maybe up to 5-7 months before I post it...  
But, anyway! Please review, I'm like everyone: I love them! 


	12. Chapter 11

_Chapter 11_

She sat in the backyard looking at the same view she saw almost two years ago, the swings where she used to spend hours on when she was small, the swing that Theresa had ran to as soon as she saw it, laughing, and looked at Cameron and asked the question that still echoed in her mind.

_You are my friend, right?_

She smiled as she saw Theresa in front of her, her thick black hair, a curly mess, dark almost black eyes, and her tanned skin. She had been so big then, that little girl was so big. She looked up to Theresa, willing to do what ever she did, because she was so great, she was her first friend that wasn't her sister. She remembered the day when Hannah was a part of their group too, they sat in the grass singing a song that Theresa had written, it was bad, about a plane, a dog, and its owner. She smiled a bigger smile when she found herself humming it.

But she also remembered the day she found out that Theresa was dead. She was lying in bed waiting for the smell of burnt bread, but instead her bedroom door was opened and her mother walked in, her eyes were red, and she sat down next to her on her bed.

_I don't know how to tell you this honey... Theresa she... she was found... dead this morning__…_

She heard her own scream, it was still ringing in her ears after all these years, and then Hannah's scream, and then Hannah's silence. She wondered how her life would've turned out if they didn't die, if Theresa's father didn't die. She blamed it all on Theresa's step-father. She visited him once when she was nineteen and pissed at the world in general. He had been the one who had received most of her anger those weeks she were home from college, but her mom and dad weren't saved from it. She was nineteen and searched for a meaning in life she didn't believe she would find. And then she met her husband, she was twenty and he was diagnosed with cancer, both were broken, and she found something in him that she hadn't found anywhere else. She had found love.

Her mother came out and sat down next to her, two steaming cups of coffee in her hands she gave one to her, and they both sat there in silence, staring at the swings.

"Too bad... he seemed like such a nice guy." her mother finally said, and she turned her head and looked at her mother.

"Yeah... and I loved him... he made me so happy." she sighed and took a sip of the hot coffee. "He made me happy by just being happy..." she looked at the swings again "It would be easier if I just hate him but... I don't care about him... this indifference it's... I hate feeling like this." she set the cup down and looked at her mom again.

"Hate is not an easy emotion either." she stated.

"Nothing's easy." she took the cup up again and took another sip. "I hate Kathryn because she is able to raise my son, she will see him smile, laugh, cry, speak... I would do anything just to hear him laugh." she laughed sadly.

"Answer me honestly... do you think I'll ever be happy?"

"Yes... you just set so high demands on happiness." Cameron nodded in agreement, admitted that she had always wanted to have a little bit more, but that feeling was also what made her get

"I remember when Danny and I were small, and after we blew out our candles on our birthday cake she told me what she had wished for, happiness." Cameron smiled. "And that was what she got, maybe not all the time but... she didn't settle for less, but she didn't demand more either, she has a normal... as normal as life can be." she let out a breathe "And that makes me hate her a little bit..."

"Do you know that she and Trevor are planning to have another baby?" Cameron looked at her mother shocked.

"Well... she always said she wanted a big family..." both of them shook their heads.

"How come you and dad only had me and Danny?" she asked the question she always had wanted an answer to.

"We planned on having more children." she started, and her eyes seemed to be looking into the past "I was pregnant with a little boy when you and Danny were three, but I went into labor in the twenty-fourth week, and the he died three hours after he was born." she snapped back into the present "I didn't want more children after that... and with it went our plans to have five children." she shrugged.

"I didn't know that." Cameron said a little down.

"We decided not to burden you with that." she explained quickly, wanting to leave the topic "There are a lot of things we don't know about each other Allison..." Cameron looked at her mother, the wrinkles that were getting more and more visible, the tiredness and sadness in her eyes from losing her husband and son. She kissed her mothers cheek, and rested her head against her shoulder.

"When I was fifteen I wanted nothing more then you to be my best friend." her mother laughed a laugh that came from her heart.

"When you were fifteen I wanted nothing more then you and Danny to talk to me." Cameron smiled.

"We can make up for old times, can't we?" she looked up into her mothers face and searched her eyes. "Or is it too late?"

"No... Not yet, it's not too late yet." Cameron smiled.

"I think I'm happy mom." she smiled a content smile, and looked over the backyard "As long as I got you and Danny I've got all I need."

"We're not going to be around forever you know" Cameron's smile fell for a second, but then she smiled again.

"But you are now, can't we live in the now?" her mother nodded. "So who was your first crush?"

"Oh, that's easy! It was Bernard Jackson." she said matter of factually "He was this dangerous eight year old boy with hair combed like Elvis and a wonderful red bike that he rode to school with everyday." she shook her head

"I still remember how he used to pull my hair." Cameron laughed with her mother "Yours then?" Cameron smiled and blushed.

"Jason Taylor." her mother's mouth fell.

"I thought you hated that boy!"

"Yeah, I did, but I had a crush on him before he started to tease me for having reading glasses." she shook her head. "But Theresa came and beat him up one day after school, and he got his teeth knocked out."

"So that's what happened! I though Greg Ryan got suspended because of that" Cameron nodded.

"He did, Jason didn't want to admit that he got beat up by a girl." both of them laughed.

"Jason works at the bank now, met him last week; he has turned out into a charming man, not a trace of that bullying boy left in him." Cameron thought about after she got raped in the girl's locker room he had passed her in the hallway and noticed how pained she looked and helped her home, she did believe her mom. Jason was the first person she told that she had been raped. The second person she told was her husband, years later.

"He's probably married with kids and all that." she thought of a small girl and boy with his brown locks and blue grey eyes.

"No, sure he got divorced three years back... but that girl..." she shook her head, but after a few moments she turned to Cameron with a smile on her face "Maybe you two should... maybe have dinner sometime?" her mother hinted.

"No." she shook her head, but her mother raised her eyebrows and caused Cameron to laugh "No!" she rolled her eyes amused by her mother, and took a sip of her coffee, only to get the taste of cold coffee, and spat it out.

"Disgusting." she noted out loud.

"One date." her mother demanded "And then you'll judge." there was a no-nonsense tone in her voice, so she couldn't argue.

"Fine, but only one." she shook her head "He might not even say yes to a date."

"You'll never know." there was something in her tone that made Cameron suspicious.

"What?"

"Nothing." her mother said casually.

"No, what? Come on, tell me." Cameron begged while pouting.

"It's just when I met him he would not stop talking about you." Cameron stared at her shocked "So I think there will be more then just one date." and with that her mother disappeared inside, leaving an amused Cameron.

Maybe a date would not be so bad... he does sound nice... and she probably could get a job in Chicago... She tried to think of Jason as a thirty year old man, but all she could see was that boyish smile he had in high school, the smile he had smiled at her when they parted at graduation, the 'see you' smile, along with a nod.

She thought of the time Danny wished for happiness, and looked over the garden.

"I wish for happiness." she said out loud, and a wind ruffled her hair. It was not candles on a birthday cake she blew out, she blew out the sorrows inside of her, and she stood on the holiest ground she could ever find in the world. Her child hood home.

* * *

So... This was the last chapter (I'm sad). Since I'm in school now again, and I have to get good grades to get into a "high school/college" school next year... Now I have to study 34 french words... sigh... my french teacher hates me..  
THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO HAS REVIEWED AND SUPPORTED THIS STORY, AS WELL AS GIVING ME ADVISE, AND SAYING WHAT THEY THOUGH!!  
Please review again :D 


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